


Mark My Words

by pidders



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bleeding From Sex, Blowjobs, Bottom Saihara Shuichi, Casual swearing, Character Death, Consensual Sex, Consent, First Time, Love Confessions, M/M, Major V3 Spoilers, Not-so-happy ending, Slight Emotional Manipulation, Smut, Top Oma Kokichi, actually mostly bottom kokichi, also bottom oma kokichi, canon character death, conflicted feelings, just an excuse to write several chapters worth of porn lol, no protection, pain during sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:22:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29454480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pidders/pseuds/pidders
Summary: After Saihara and Ouma somehow manage to recall the events of the Love Suite, Shuichi confronts Kokichi only to find that their feelings for one another are complicated. As the killing game progresses and tensions rise, they both realize how difficult it is to pursue any kind of relationship, especially as Kokichi's own plan to end the killing game falls into place.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Major V3 Spoilers from this point forward**
> 
> I changed canon so this fanfic would be easier for me to write. :T  
> If you don't care what I changed, skip this section and the first chapter starts below. Otherwise:
> 
> \- Saihara and Ouma remember the events of the Love Suite Event. It's pretty much a vehicle to move things along and then it's never mentioned again.  
> \- I added extra days between Class Trial 4 and the following murder investigation to expand things a bit for the sake of plot.  
> \- Momota isn't holding as much of a grudge against Saihara after Class Trial 4.  
> \- Ouma isn't missing entirely after Class Trial 4.  
> \- I don't write about the canon events that move the story along from the game following Class Trial 4, such as Momota and Saihara meeting in Harukawa's lab to learn to assemble/disassemble the crossbow, etc. Though those events still did happen in this story, I just don't mention them until the epilogue.

Ouma moved towards the taller boy, forcing him backwards. It wasn't long until Saihara's feet hit the bed, leaving him with nowhere else to turn to.

“Ouma-kun...” he pleaded, voice strained.

Suddenly, Kokichi pushed him back onto the mattress, clearly not listening to the other's protests. It was either that, or he just didn't care.

“Ouma-kun, wait! Wait!” he urged him again, flustered now with the smaller boy's persistence. 

Ouma said nothing, pausing only momentarily, though for long enough to realize that it was clear that Saihara had no interest with him. He was rejected again and had no intention of pursuing things with someone who didn't want him that way. “... Just kidding. Did I get ya?” he grinned, covering up the disappointment that he felt.

“What!?” Saihara was entirely caught off guard by the position he'd found himself in. What was happening? Before he could process anything else, the other had begun to flee from the room, rushing towards the exit.

“Ouma-kun, stop right there!” Shuichi ordered, attempting to stand, though finding his knees were too weak, causing him to tumble off the bed clumsily. Why wouldn't Ouma stay? He only wanted him to-- he instantly pushed the thought from his mind as soon as he caught himself thinking it, unsure as to why he felt this way, instead questioning why he even wanted to get the other to stay in the first place.

“Nishishi... that was pretty fun. See ya, Saihara-chan!” Kokichi smiled widely, casually resting his arms behind his head. “I'll think of a more exciting game for next time. So make sure you excite me too.” his voice was low and something about it was... _enticing_ to the detective.

And then before he knew it, Kokichi was gone-- leaving Saihara alone in the suite.

Shuichi stood alone in silence before heading back to his own room. It wasn't like he had a reason to stay there any longer. He was lost in thought entirely on the way back and before he knew it, he had made it to his room. He couldn't clear his mind of what had happened in the love suite with Ouma-kun.

It wasn't like Kokichi was really on his mind like this before... Prior to now, he wasn't even interested in him, but now he couldn't get him out of his mind. It happened so suddenly, but he couldn't stop thinking of the smaller boy. What would have happened if Shuichi hadn't protested when Ouma came onto him in the suite? Was it really all just a lie? The detective squeezed his eyes shut, imagining Kokichi pushing him back on the bed again, crawling between his legs, getting dangerously close to him... He imagined Kokichi's smaller hands running along his chest, down his stomach and hips, until he reached-- 

What was he doing? He sighed, shakily, taking note of his erection pressing against his dark slacks. This most definitely had to be mild interest in him and nothing more. He was just confused, that was all. After everything Kokichi had done-- everything he had put _them all_ through, how was it possible that he was feeling anything for the boy aside from resentment? He had a feeling he wasn't going to sleep well tonight, but before he knew it he had drifted off to sleep, the thoughts of the event fading from his mind almost entirely.

\---

The next day, Shuichi had only a vague recollection of what had happened. It felt like the memory was lingering somewhere in his conscious, but he couldn't quite place what occurred. Though he had a strange feeling that it had something to do with Ouma-kun. He had a bitter taste in his mouth at the thought of Kokichi in general after the awful class trial they'd been though and losing both Gonta-kun and Iruma-san under horrible circumstances. Shuichi couldn't dwell on it, instead deciding to make his way to the dining hall, shrugging it off as a weird dream.

Saihara wandered the courtyard until he reached the end of the walkway before a blur of white slammed into him, knocking him over. 

“O-Ouma-kun?” Saihara groaned confused, now on the hard pavement. Kokichi had seemingly vanished from the entire campus all day yesterday, so he was surprised to have literally ran into the boy.

The Ultimate Supreme Leader swore under his breath as he stood up from the ground, rubbing his head. “Hey, Saihara-chan, maybe you should-” Ouma stopped abruptly, as if he just realized something. Saihara watched his expression carefully, curious as to what he could have-- when it suddenly came back to him as well. The 'dream' from last night. Did they both realize at the same time? Kokichi grinned now, and Saihara wondered if Ouma could sense the awkwardness that he was surely radiating.

“Hiya, Saihara-chan. Come here often?” Kokichi joked, pretending to flirt with the taller boy like he occasionally chose to do. At least Saihara assumed he was pretending. It was such a cliche line, it just had to be a joke...

Saihara ignored the question, instead more curious to know where Kokichi had been yesterday and why he was in such a rush, as if he was trying to not be seen. Instead, he opted to first ask if he was okay after bumping into him so roughly. “Are you alright, Ouma-kun?” 

“Yup! I was kinda in a hurry, but it's nice to see you too!” 

Shuichi was too absorbed in the thoughts of last night to make any small talk with him. He had a million questions swirling around in his head about the previous class trial and the 'questionable' things that Kokichi had said to everyone before he'd left. But he couldn't think of that now. Instead, he needed answers about last night. 

“Ouma-kun, are you free later?” he simply asked, the words finding their way from his mouth before he realized what he was saying.

“Huh, Saihara-chan wants to spend time with little ol' me? Nishishi, why not now then?” Ouma replied, caught off guard that Saihara was even attempting to talk to him after everything that happened the other day, especially considering the callous things that the detective had said to him personally before he left the Shrine of Judgment. Not that it was totally uncalled for or anything, though it did sting a little bit to hear coming from Saihara. Even Kokichi could realize that.

“Well, okay. But could we go somewhere private?” Shuichi asked nervously. He was well aware that this was going to be a difficult conversation.

“Ooh, are you inviting me to your room?” the purple haired boy teased.

The detective blushed softly. He wasn't necessarily... But Ouma did have a point that it would be private. Shuichi nodded. “If you don't mind.”

Ouma giggled, “Lead the way.”

They walked together back to Saihara's room in near silence. Luckily, it wasn't a long walk at all. The detective unlocked his door upon arrival, inviting the other inside. The boys each toed their shoes off at the door before Shuichi gestured towards the bed, offering Ouma a seat, who obliged with a smile. The smaller boy hopped onto the bed-- Shuichi finding himself thinking how innocent and adorable he could paint himself to be at times, while other times coming off as cruel and deplorable. Saihara felt his face flush at the thought as he took a seat next to the boy on his bed. He noticed that Kokichi was looking him in his eyes and he couldn't help but to wonder if he was picking up on his nervous energy.

“I wanted to talk to you.” Shuichi fidgeted with the hem of his jacket, averting his gaze awkwardly.

“Oh, Shumai wants to talk! I wonder what about?” 

Shuichi could tell that Ouma was playing dumb, knowing exactly what this was about after their little collision seemed to have knocked the memory loose in their heads.

“Do you remember last night?” Shuichi asked flatly.

Ouma paused, looking contemplatively at the detective. “Last night? Well, I went to the dining hall for dinner, then back to my room, then-”

“No, I'm talking about at the hotel.” Saihara abruptly said, interrupting the boy.

“Hotel?” Ouma looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“So you don't remember after all...” Shuichi trailed off, feeling foolish for ever bringing it up. “Sorry for bringing you here, Ouma-kun.” he apologized.

“Ahaha, just kidding! I lied. I totally remember everything now.” he laughed, nudging Saihara gently with his elbow as if he expected him to laugh along with him.

Shuichi was relieved that he knew what he was talking about, despite being lied to about it initially. He continued, “Okay... Well, I have to know if you were telling the truth when you said it was a joke.”

“I would never lie.” though it was clear sarcasm followed by a giggle.

The Ultimate Detective sighed, “You just did.” and he wondered if he was intentionally dodging his question. 

“Oh, I guess you're right about that.” the smaller boy grinned.

Shuichi rephrased his question, “I'd like to know, Ouma-kun, did you mean what you said?”

“You'll have to be more specific. I said a lotta things.” he answered in a sing-song voice.

“After you... Pushed me on the bed. When you said you were kidding about it.”

Ouma grinned widely. “I was telling the truth when I said I was just kidding. Why would I lie about something like that?” he scoffed, though he wasn't actually offended that the other was questioning him considering how much he tended to lie.

“Is that a lie?”

The smaller boy hesitated, leaving an awkward and somewhat bitter silence in the room. “Are you so full of yourself that you think everyone wants you?” his words cut through the silence like a knife. There was no hint of the usual soft, playfulness in his voice at all.

“N-no!” Shuichi stuttered, “It's not like that...” he trailed off.

“Is that what you think, Saihara?” Kokichi scowled, something dark and ominous taking over his features. “That I want to fuck you?” he leaned in towards Shuichi abruptly, gripping his wrists, pinning him back onto his mattress. His lips were dangerously close to Saihara's now and Ouma couldn't help but to notice that the detective didn't protest at all this time-- unlike the last. “Maybe you're right and I meant it all.”

Shuichi squeezed his eyes closed nervously, breath hitching as he became hyper aware of his own heartbeat suddenly. He couldn't believe that this was actually happening right now. He couldn't help but to wonder if maybe bringing Kokichi alone to his room was a mistake. Somehow though, as nervous as he was, he couldn't deny that he actually was somewhat excited finding himself in this predicament. With just how horrible Kokichi had been, he didn't understand this strange fixation he had on him. But Shuichi resolved himself to not protest at all this time.

“Or,” Ouma breathed heavily against Shuichi's neck, leaving the other waiting breathlessly for what was coming next. “Maybe I gotcha again! Nishishi~” Ouma's tone was once again light and cheerful, releasing the detective from his grip, finally scooting away from the boy. He giggled to himself, as if he was pleased about his prank working for the second time.

W-what just happened?? What could his reason for this possibly be? Shuichi could only deduce that Ouma was making absolutely sure that he did in fact want him the same way he did... but then again, this was Kokichi he was talking about here. It was entirely plausible that the other's end game was simply to mess with him and confuse him. He couldn't rule out the possibility.

Saihara felt frustrated, confused, and left with a million thoughts churning in his head that clouded his judgment. Once again, he couldn't explain how he was justifying his sudden interest in Kokichi, especially after the terrible incident at the fourth class trial and Gonta-kun's punishment due to Ouma's direct influence in Iruma-san's death. He should be angry, or in the very least apathetic towards him, and he was before... But now he was doubting his very own feelings.

Despite everything, he'd found himself feeling some way for the boy and he couldn't push the thoughts of Kokichi from his mind... And as anxious as he was, he wanted Ouma-kun in some way, even if he didn't know how to make a move. He was sure if he did _something_ the other boy would reciprocate his affection.

“What if,” Shuichi began, his voice low, nearly a whisper, “I want you?”

Kokichi snapped his attention to Saihara, looking confused, as if he couldn't possibly understand how the other could want anything from him. It was true, as much as he felt strongly about Shuichi, he never expected the boy to feel anything aside from disdain for him. 

“Ahh, ahaha.” Ouma forced a laugh, genuinely caught off guard by the sudden forwardness from the other. Saihara couldn't help but to find it endearing. “I see! Is that why you lured me all alone to your room? Is Saihara-chan a pervert who wants to take advantage of me and steal my innocence?” Ouma grinned, as if he had managed to regain his composure.

It was clearly a teasing remark, but Shuichi couldn't help but to wonder if it was a lie or if the smaller boy really was a virgin... N-not that it mattered either way. It was just hard to tell the lies from the truth at times. “N-no,” he stammered, “I'm just trying to figure you out, that's all.”

“Then figure me out, Mister Detective. I'm an open book, after all.” he smiled sweetly.

That was an obvious lie, as Kokichi was easily one of the most mysterious people here. Saihara's brows were knit together in concern. He felt like he was getting nowhere... But there was one way to test if Ouma had any kind of feelings for him. Actually, it was pretty obvious now what he was most likely waiting for and Saihara wasn't sure how he didn't realize sooner.

Shuichi leaned in towards Kokichi, brushing his bangs from his face, watching them fall right back into place after he did. Ouma stared on, captivated by the detective's every move, waiting to see what was going to happen next. If Shuichi were able to, he would have noticed Kokichi's heartbeat increasing. He wasted no more time, pressing his lips to the other's, planting a soft kiss for only a couple of seconds before withdrawing completely.

He... Actually did it. This really was what Ouma had hoped for. If Shuichi made a move on him, then he had no reason to think he'd be rejected again. He couldn't help but to wonder why Saihara had taken this sudden interest in him though. Especially considering that he knew Shuichi had expressed his feelings about him only the other day-- telling him that he was all alone... He didn't want to worry about it.

“Was... That okay?” Shuichi asked shyly.

“Y-yeah...” Ouma replied quickly, voice low. “Is that really what you brought me here for?” he asked, placing his own hand to his lips in almost disbelief.

“Not exactly.” Saihara hesitantly rested a hand on Kokichi's, finally holding him. “I really did want to talk to you. I needed to find out how you feel... About me.”

“Oh. You should have just asked then, silly~” Kokichi knew it wasn't that easy for someone like Shuichi to just admit to these types of things out loud though.

“Okay... How do you feel about me?” he hoped his hands weren't shaking since he was holding on to Ouma's still.

“I thought it was sorta obvious. I like you.” Ouma smiled softly, making eye contact with the taller boy. Saihara struggled to maintain it.

“You... You do?”

“Yeah! You're just too hard to resist. I wasn't lying when I came onto you before. I just...” and his tone changed mid-sentence as he averted his gaze from the other. “I didn't want to make you uncomfortable cuz that's no fun.” he grinned now, looking back up at Shuichi, as if he was fine again. It was funny how his demeanor could flip so quickly at times.

“I wasn't uncomfortable.” Shuichi quickly interjected. “I'm just not experienced with this-”

“Oooh, Shumai is a total virgin! Nishishi!” Ouma interrupted teasingly. 

“You said you were a virgin too, Ouma-kun!” Shuichi scoffed in response to his interjection.

Kokichi laughed, “I _did_ say something like that, didn't I? Nothin' wrong with that, riiight?!”

“Erm...” Shuichi didn't know what to say, but Ouma continued.

“So,” he placed a hand on Saihara's cheek, “You really didn't bring me here to just talk, did you? I bet you wanted to continue things where we left off.” 

Shuichi blushed deeply. That wasn't the reason he brought the boy back to his room, though the thought of it excited him. He honestly didn't even know where to begin with this... Ouma leaned in, kissing Shuichi deeply, slipping his tongue past his soft lips, exploring the boy's mouth with his own. He climbed onto Saihara's lap, straddling him, holding the detective's face in his hands before pulling away to thread his fingers through soft, blue locks of hair. Ouma was most definitely much more forward than Shuichi could ever be. And Saihara knew there was no way that he was a virgin now with how confidant and experienced he was acting... But what could he expect from a liar?

Kokichi broke away suddenly. “Is this too fast for you, _darling_?” he was watching the other through half lidded eyes and something about his seductive tone really worked Saihara up along with the feeling of complete endearment from the pet name.

“No.” he tried to answer as confidently as possible.

“Okaaay~” Kokichi sang, pecking him on the lips cutely. “I just wanna make you feel good, Saihara-chan. Don't you want that?”

“Yes, p-please.” Saihara's face was flushed now, his heart racing out of his chest in anticipation of whatever was coming.

“Oh, I can tell. I can feel your cock pressing against me.” Ouma bit his lower lip, glancing down to Saihara's groin from where he sat on his lap. “I wonder what you taste like, my sweet, little Shuichi~”

The detective couldn't believe how forward Ouma-kun was acting, but it definitely did _something_ to him. At the same time, he couldn't shake the feelings of guilt and betrayal he felt towards his friends for being in this position with Kokichi. He rejected the thought, pushing it from his mind entirely.

“Let's get you undressed now, yeah?” Ouma said, sliding off Saihara's lap. He pulled the other to his feet, quickly unfastening his jacket and removing it before working on Shuichi's button down shirt underneath. He saved his pants for last. Kokichi got on his knees, looking up at Saihara seductively before licking his lips. “Do you like this view of me?”

“I'd like it more i-if you were undressed too.” Saihara admitted nervously.

“Ooh, who taught you to talk like that?” Ouma giggled. “Soon enough, but let's take care of you first.” he said before unfastening Shuichi's pants, unzipping them and pulling the fabric down to the boy's ankles so he could step out of them. Ouma unceremoniously tossed them to the side of the room and Shuichi was left only in his underwear.

The detective was suddenly made aware of just how anxious he felt at the thought of being left naked and fully exposed in front of Ouma-kun for the first time. “Okay, your turn now.” Saihara insisted.

The purple haired boy could read him like a book, knowing exactly why the other was hesitating. He giggled, “Sure thing~ I'll strip for you if that's really what you want, perv.” it was an obvious joke, but Shuichi couldn't help but to feel embarrassed and blush at the insinuation.

Ouma unfastened the clasps along the side of his jacket, leaving the white material opened slightly before untying and yanking off his checkered scarf, throwing it in the pile of clothes they had accumulated. He shrugged off his jacket, showing that he was wearing nothing underneath it. Shuichi watched closely as the smaller boy continued undressing. Next, he took off his belt, then his pants, leaving him in only his boxer briefs. They were jarringly bright, reddish-pink and yellow striped. Shuichi could see the full hard-on in his underwear, which Ouma seemed completely unashamed about. He shimmied out of his underwear, fully exposed and on display for Saihara to admire.

“Tadaaa.” he had no shame about his slender, lithe body. Shuichi honestly couldn't take in enough of it and wanted nothing more than to get his hands on the boy. He felt like he may have been staring a bit too much, but Ouma seemed to like his gaze on him, judging by the self-assured smirk on his face. “Whatcha think? Pretty impressive, riiight?” Shuichi didn't know if he was faking his confidence or not, but something about it made his face flush and his cock hard, precum soaking into his own boxers.

Kokichi returned to the floor, between Saihara's legs. “Ready?” he looked up, eyes far too bright and sanguine for someone about to do something so lewd. Saihara could only nod vigorously to confirm that he was, in fact, ready. His heart was racing and he could feel his body shaking, but he was ready for this.

Ouma stopped before touching him. “Hey. I'm not gonna judge you or anything like that. That's the truth too. I like you for who you are, Saihara-chan.” he nodded.

“O-okay. I trust you.”

Ouma smiled, cocking his head to the side. It seemed like that was something he didn't hear very often judging by his reaction to the statement. He seemed genuinely pleased to hear the words. “You ready now?”

“I am.”

Ouma said nothing else, instead palming the boy through his boxers, kissing his cock over the thin fabric covering him. Saihara moaned at the teasing touches, feeling Kokichi's hot breath against him, the annoying fabric stopping him from receiving his full touch. Maybe this is what the smaller boy had planned, but Shuichi suddenly wanted them off more than anything now.

“Do you want more?” Ouma asked forwardly.

“Please. I need it.” he pleaded.

“I'm just taking these off, okay? I want more too, Saihara-chan. I need you.” he affirmed before slowly peeling his boxers off, exposing Saihara's cock, springing out from the fabric. Kokichi looked at his hard length with lust in his eyes. “You're perfect...” he said under his breath, nearly inaudibly, but Shuichi _did_ catch the words and was glowing from the compliment, especially coming from Ouma.

“Do you mind if I use my mouth?” Kokichi asked with a slight grin, rubbing a hand along Shuichi's shaft which twitched at the unconstrained contact now. He knew the answer before ever asking.

“Please...” Shuichi moaned, begging.

Ouma smiled at The Ultimate Detective's desperate pleas. He gripped the base of his cock before slowly licking from the base to the tip. With his free hand, he massaged Shuichi's balls gently, drawing a moan from the boy. He'd never been touched quite like that before... And he couldn't help but to notice just how much bigger his cock looked in Ouma-kun's smaller hands. The purple haired boy managed to take Saihara's full length, bobbing his head up and down his shaft without gagging on his cock. Yeah, he was definitely not a virgin.

“You're so good at this.” Shuichi groaned, breathing heavily, eyes glued on Ouma as he worked his cock, glancing up occasionally at Saihara through his thick, dark lashes. God, this feeling made him feel like he was going to explode. His breathing was erratic now.

Ouma pulled away, “Are you close?”

“Y-yeah, so close...”

Kokichi stopped and Shuichi was hit with the feeling of immediate disappointment, wondering if this was all some kind of trick made to leave him hanging.

“Do you wanna fuck?” Ouma asked point blank, jerking off Shuichi at a painfully slow pace now.

“Errrm?” the boldness of the question definitely caught him off guard. Ouma could be so vulgar and while he'd heard him say inappropriate things many times, nothing quite like this-- certainly not directed towards him.

“You know, go all the way.” he rephrased it as if Saihara somehow didn't understand him the first time.

“Aaa, I'd like that.” Shuichi finally managed to answer.

“I should have asked you before we started,” he clicked his tongue, “but are you a top or bottom?”

“Oh, um...” Shuichi's face flushed again, “I don't...”

Ouma sighed and Saihara hoped he wasn't losing his patience with his lack of experience.

“S-sorry.” Shuichi immediately apologized, casting his eyes downward in embarrassment.

Ouma laughed, “Wha- Don't apologize, silly~” he said in his typical sing-song voice. “I'm glad you wanted to do this in the first place.” and he leaned up from where he was kneeling on the floor to kiss the other. Saihara returned the kiss. It felt nice and he appreciated seeing this side of Kokichi compared to what he was only just exposed to the other day... He wanted to forget it every happened.

“Aah, thanks.” Shuichi said quietly under his breath.

“So,” Ouma continued. “do you think you'd rather put it inside me or have me put it inside you. Do you understand?”

“I understand, of course.” Shuichi confirmed. “I think I'd rather, erm- _take it_ under normal circumstances but...” he trailed off.

“But you're nervous, riiight?!” Kokichi finished his sentence.

“Yeah, it's-”

“Your first time!” he interjected.

“Y-yeah.” Shuichi looked down, once again embarrassed by the bluntness of it all.

“No worries!” Ouma reassured the detective. “If you want, you can fuck me.” he nodded frantically. “Or we don't even have to have sex at all! Or I can just get you off! Or anything else that you want to do!” Ouma was smiling widely, excitedly.

Shuichi felt his heart swell at how accommodating Ouma was being... And it would be a lie if he said he wasn't excited at the thought of how willing Kokichi was to let him fuck him. Though Saihara meant it when he said he was probably more suited to being a bottom. It was true that he was terrified at the thought of penetration. It couldn't be _that_ bad, could it?

“Maybe we could try it both ways?” Shuichi suggested thoughtfully.

“Hmm,” Ouma looked slightly concerned. “think you can manage that for your first time?”

“It's worth a shot, right?”

Ouma kissed him deeply. “I admire your dedication to this.” he reached for his discarded pants, fishing through a pocket, pulling out a bottle of lube. “We'll definitely need this.” 

“Why were you carrying that with you?” Saihara asked curiously.

“Who knows when you'll need it, right, Saihara-chan? I mean, look at us right now. It's definitely coming in handy.”

“Aah, I guess so.” Shuichi laughed awkwardly.

“Anyway! Do you wanna fuck me first or do you wanna try to take me?” Ouma grinned, rubbing his own hard length.

Saihara thought about it... He felt the urge to cum now and maybe it was selfish of him, but fucking Ouma would be a near guarantee that it would happen. Besides, he wasn't even sure if he was going to be able to handle being on bottom, so maybe it was best to go first. “I want to take you.”

Ouma thought it was endearing how Shuichi wouldn't swear even under these circumstances. He giggled, “Sure. I just need to get ready for my Saihara-chan's cock.”

Saihara blushed at his straightforwardness. Part of him couldn't believe that this was happening-- that he was about to lose his virginity to Kokichi of all people. And here in this place... but he definitely wanted this and the fact that Kokichi wanted _him_ so badly too made him feel a little bit special. He felt ready to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave things here like this, but the chapter would have been far too short if I cut it before things began to heat up in Saihara's room. u_u
> 
> The next chapter is a bit longer than this one, but who knows what the standard chapter length will be from this point on, lol.


	2. Chapter 2

Ouma uncapped the bottle of lube, squirting it onto his fingers and with relative ease, inserted two fingers into himself. He squeezed his eyes shut at the sensation and Shuichi wondered what it felt like for him. Ouma began fingering himself slowly, rocking his hand back and forth into himself, driving his fingers deeply into his entrance. Shuichi noted that he must have done this several times before.

“Do you do this often?” he asked inquisitively.

“Oh, no. I told you, I'm totally innocent.” he giggled before adding more lube and a third finger. Ouma tossed the bottle to Saihara, who barely caught it at the last second. “Can you do me a favor and get yourself slick for me?” he continued fingering himself slowly, watching as Saihara coated his cock in lube, straight from the bottle. 

Shuichi wasn't sure how much to use, so he opted for a liberal amount, assuming that more would be better. He carefully rubbed himself, coating his length in the slick fluid until he was fully primed.

“How do you want me?” Ouma finally asked, withdrawing his fingers from himself.

Shuichi hadn't thought about it thus far... As nice as it would be to have Ouma-kun ride him, watching him bounce up and down on his cock, there was something about the idea of seeing the smaller boy underneath him on the bed that captivated his interest. “Could you lie on the bed?”

“Anything for my Shuichi~” he purred, positioning himself lying on his back on the bed for his lover. “Do you have something I can put under my hips for leverage?”

Shuichi grabbed a pillow from the head of his mattress. “Will this work?”

“Mmhm.” Kokichi hummed, stuffing the pillow underneath himself, propping his hips up slightly. He was beaming now, “I'm so excited to get fucked senseless by Saihara-chan!”

Saihara smiled, unsure if Ouma was being serious or not. He figured he was trying to lighten the mood a little bit, since it was clear that Shuichi was nervous... He scooted his body in between Ouma's spread legs, admiring the submissive view below him and just how hard the boy's cock was, flush against his skin. It was reassuring to know Ouma wanted him as much as he did. Saihara placed a hand around himself, gripping the base of his own cock, leading himself towards Kokichi's entrance. He rubbed his slick length against Kokichi's opening, eliciting a clearly fake, over-the-top moan from Ouma's lips.

Shuichi scowled, “You don't have to fake it.”

“Maybe that's how I sound in bed! How rude, Saihara-chan! You're making me self-conscious!” Ouma faked a sob this time.

“S-sorry...” Shuichi apologized, in the super rare and unlikely case that maybe he wasn't lying for some reason and he'd offended the boy.

“It's a lie!” Ouma giggled and Shuichi sighed, pursing his lips in frustration from the other's constant jokes and lies. “You were right. I was faki-”

The blue haired boy wasted no more time before pushing his length fully inside Kokichi's smaller frame. Ouma's breath hitched as he squeezed his eyes shut. “O-oh...” he moaned, genuinely caught off guard from the sudden sensation and being filled by Saihara.

Shuichi sucked in a breath himself, in near disbelief at how tight and hot Ouma-kun actually felt. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. “You feel- so good gripping me like this.” Shuichi moaned, running a hand along one of Ouma's soft, smooth thighs. 

“Mmhm, tell me more...” Kokichi requested softly.

Saihara didn't anticipate having to talk this much during the act, but he wanted to do his best. He slowly pulled his hips back, pulling out slightly, “Aaa, you have a nice body. I-it turns me on so much.” he rocked forward slowly. 

Ouma giggled. “Are you actually gonna fuck me or are you planning on _just_ sweet talking me?”

Saihara groaned with a nod, hands moving towards Kokichi's narrow hips, gripping him tight before he drove into him at a faster pace now. The sound of skin slapping against skin and their mutual panting and cries were the only sounds in the room and it seemed to spark something inside him that made him let go of all his inhibitions.

He glanced down at Ouma, who was nearly writhing underneath him, eyes shut and lips parted. Kokichi was moaning Saihara's name now, moaning incoherent somethings and Saihara was perfectly aware that he was hitting that spot inside of him. Part of him couldn't believe that he had Ouma Kokichi in his bed right now. What would everyone think if they knew? If they could see how submissive the person who was responsible for continuously tormenting them looked at this moment, the look of pure ecstasy painted across his face as Shuichi drove into him.

Ouma hadn't even touched his own cock yet, precum dripping from the tip, looking as if he was begging for it to be touched. And who was he to deny him that pleasure? Saihara took Ouma's cock in his hand, causing Kokichi to choke out a cry from the contact as he jerked him off. Fuck, he couldn't help but to notice how he looked so unlike Ouma. So unlike how he was before-- when he was acting nothing but assertive and confident. It was as if he fucked all the snark and dominance out of him. He couldn't deny that it was turning him on in some way, pushing him closer to the edge.

Ouma was nearly sobbing now, tears threatening to spill from his violet eyes, begging Shuichi for something. “Saihara, please... Please, please!” Saihara knew Ouma-kun was on the verge of release. That the stimulation was far too much for his senses. It excited him knowing that he could experience something like this for himself soon enough.

“Mmhm, yeah, Ouma-kun. It's okay.” Shuichi crooned, picking up the pace as he worked his cock and fucked him into the mattress.

“Shuichi, I can't hold back anymore.” Ouma cried breathlessly.

“It's okay, I'm ready.” Saihara reassured, cupping his palm over the head of his cock, catching his seed as it came out in thick bursts. Saihara wished that it was inside him instead, filling him up with the hot fluid. He wondered if Ouma-kun would even be able to go again after this. Or if he'd even be able to take a cock for the first time. He brushed the thought aside as the stimulation became far too much for him and he found himself at a tipping point.

“I'm gonna cum, Ouma-kun.” Shuichi panted.

“P-pull out, Shuichi!” Ouma frantically insisted, “You can cum on me instead.”

Saihara pumped into him a few more times, the feeling of that familiar buildup becoming too much to handle as it bubbled up inside of him, pushing him over the edge. He pulled out quickly, cumming thick ropes on Ouma's chest and stomach with a contented sigh.

“Maaan, I really hate the feeling of cum inside me. Thanks for pulling out.” he giggled.

“I thought you said that you were a virgin.” Saihara reminded him, breath irregular still.

“Oh, right. That was a lie.” he replied nonchalantly. 

“I figured as much.”

The boys lied in bed next to one another and Saihara wondered if they were done. He wasn't even sure if he was up for any more himself considering how tired he suddenly felt.

Ouma pecked him on the cheek. “You were amazing. Are you sure _you're_ not lying when you say you're a virgin? Nishishi~”

Saihara laughed, “No, I'm not lying.”

“I'm still covered in cum. I think you probably are too.” Ouma ran a finger through the trail of cum on his chest, looking at it with mild disinterest.

“Oh, sorry!” Shuichi jumped up and made his way to the bathroom, grabbing a towel so they could clean up. They managed to clean each other quickly enough and lied back down, snuggling up next to one another. Shuichi felt like he could doze off, even though it was still early in the day.

“Well, are you ready for round two? It's my turn to show you what I got!” Kokichi said enthusiastically.

Saihara was nervous, though somewhat eager to see what Ouma-kun had planned for him.

“You don't have to worry, Saihara-chan! I'll be sure to not break you too badly.” he grinned. “Besides, this is what I do best.” he leaned in for a kiss. “I'm a much better top than a bottom.” or maybe he just liked being a top more than being a bottom... Whatever.

“I don't know, I think you took me so well. It was really sexy.” Shuichi felt his face grow hot.

“Ahaha, you think so? I am pretty cute, after all!”

“You are.” Saihara confirmed with a shy smile.

Ouma gazed into Saihara's eyes, his expression lacking any hint of lightheartedness that it normally had. “I want you, Saihara.”

“Take me.” Shuichi tried his best to be sexy, though he was so inexperienced, he had no idea what one should say in this situation. He had no idea that Ouma was so enamored with him that it didn't matter what he said, he'd be captivated by The Ultimate Detective regardless.

Ouma stroked himself, working up another erection already so soon after cumming not too long ago. “See what you do to me? Just the thought of you gets me hard.”

Shuichi reached for his own length and moving closer to Ouma, he took the other boy's cock in his free hand, jerking them both off together, occasionally rubbing the heads together.

Ouma sucked in a breath of air every time Shuichi touched them together. “If you really are a virgin,” he moaned, “you must watch a lot of porn, Shumai~ Where'd you learn a filthy trick like that?”

“I don't watch a lot of porn!” he vehemently denied the accusation.

“Sure, sure!” he giggled, reaching for the lube from before. “Okay, Saihara-chan! I need you to slow down there before you make me cum again.” 

Saihara let go with another apology, but Ouma silenced him with a kiss, reassuring him that he was absolutely irresistible. “Get on your knees for me, my beloved. I'm gonna make you cum so much harder than you ever have in your life.”

Shuichi nervously obeyed, settling on the bed on his knees and forearms. Something about this position made him feel vulnerable and even though Ouma had just put it all out there for him, he felt like he was struggling to do the same. 

“Can you spread your legs for me?” Kokichi asked.

Shuichi opened his legs, wondering just how exposed he was right now.

“Yeah, that's really nice.” Ouma admired the boy's body, gripping his ass and spreading his cheeks with his hands, putting Shuichi on full display. Saihara blushed furiously now, wishing that Ouma-kun would just get on with it. “Just look at how pretty your tight, little hole is. Begging me to fuck it.”

God, something about the dirty talk turned him on though. Was this a kink? Shuichi whimpered softly.

“My Shuichi is such a good boy. Such an obedient boy... Isn't he?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then he knows that if he were to feel uncomfortable at all, he'd tell me to stop, wouldn't he?”

“O-okay.” Shuichi nodded, though he was determined to make it through this. If Ouma-kun could do it, why couldn't he?

Ouma coated his fingers with lube before slowly and gently rubbing Saihara's entrance. The detective moaned loudly at the unexpected feeling. It was so sensitive and foreign to him.

“Nishishi~” Ouma giggled at how Shuichi was already losing his composure. It was adorable.

Kokichi slipped in a single digit, gently prodding the boy, who cried out at the intrusion as he slowly moved it inside of Saihara as if he was looking for something. It didn't take long before he slipped in a second finger and Shuichi felt so full and unsure as to how he was going to take a cock. It didn't quite hurt, but it felt invasive for sure. His skin was stretching from the sensation and it was as if... It was as if he shouldn't have fingers in his ass. But it did _something_ to him and he could feel his cock spring to life and he thought that it must be right if he was getting off to it.

Ouma immediately noticed his erection, grinning as he worked his fingers inside the other. “Oh, what's this? Saihara-chan gets off to being fingered? What a total perv, haha. Just kidding! It feels good, right?” He reached around, grasping the detective's wanting cock, milking him from behind.

The stimulation was almost too much, Saihara thought to himself when he felt it-- Kokichi hit something inside him that caused him to gasp through a full body shudder.

“There it is~” Kokichi chuckled to himself. He intentionally repeated the motion, playing with Saihara's prostate, shooting waves of electricity through the boy's entire being that caused him to cry out Ouma's name. He had never felt anything like this before and it was all he could care about now, just chasing that feeling.

“Isn't it great?” Ouma asked, jerking him off while fingering him simultaneously. He slowly pulled out, only to add more lube to his fingers. “I wonder what would happen if I added a third finger?” and he did, with resistance, but he fit it inside of Saihara, who felt nothing except stretched to the max now, knowing that Ouma-kun's cock was only going to stretch him further. Fuck though, if he got that same stimulation from before, he wasn't sure he would care.

Kokichi slowly worked in and out of the taller boy, singing words of praise about how great he was doing. It only made Shuichi want Ouma even more.

“Ouma-kun, I'm ready for you.” Shuichi moaned.

“Ready for me?” he asked, playing dumb.

“Please.”

“What do you want, Saihara-chan?” Ouma asked with an amused grin on his face.

“Take me...” Shuichi begged.

“Take you where, Saihara-chan~?”

Kokichi had made it clear that he wanted him to explicitly state what he wanted and Saihara was desperate enough to say it if Ouma was determined to make him beg for it. “I want you to fuck me...” Shuichi blushed, resting his head on the pillow below him.

“Wooow, Saihara! I didn't think you had it in you to talk like that, you dirty boy.” he removed his fingers from Saihara's ass gently, taking the bottle of lube and slicking his cock up, eager to fuck the other. “How could I ever say no to you?” Kokichi sighed, slowly jerking himself off, enjoying the feeling of the sleek rubbing motion teasing his own sensitive flesh.

“This position will be the least painful for a first timer. That's why I picked it for you, by the way.” Kokichi nodded.

“It's just... A little awkward.”

“It's gonna feel better this way. And if it doesn't, I'll stop.” he giggled, even though Saihara wasn't sure what was funny about it.

Shuichi looked down, hugging the pillow underneath him. All he could do was trust the leader.

“Relax, that'll help.” Ouma insisted, scooting up against Shuichi's ass, taking his cock and positioning it against the detective's prepped asshole. “Breathe, Shuichi.” Kokichi advised, his voice low and soothing. He sounded so genuine-- some kind of departure from how he normally spoke.

Shuichi was breathing, but could feel himself shaking still.

“Relax,” Ouma reminded him, “it's okay.” he said in his best comforting voice. Shuichi steadied himself, trying his best to relax as Ouma gently pet his hair from behind. The feeling was comforting and it did something to help calm his nerves a bit.

“I'm gonna put it in now, okay?” 

“Okay.” Shuichi nodded, with no idea what was coming.

Kokichi slowly slid his cock inside Saihara, staying as still as possible, though Shuichi tensed up instantly, tightening up around Ouma, crying out at the intrusion. He felt so full, the good feeling faded away left only with a sharp pain that left him feeling like he was gonna break in half. Ouma-kun didn't even have a massive cock, so why did it feel like he was going to split in two?

Ouma groaned, steadying himself, being sure to not move yet. He should pull out. He should stop because it was clear that Saihara was in pain. But it wasn't like he told him to stop. And he wasn't surprised he didn't stop since Kokichi knew he was disgustingly selfish before today. But how could he say he cares about Shuichi when he couldn't even resist this feeling?

Saihara's breath was staggered and uneven; he wasn't sure he could do this. But he didn't want to stop. He was anxious about disappointing Kokichi on top of everything, though he wasn't sure why he cared so much about _how_ the boy felt, especially that he seemed to be putting his needs before his own.

“Saihara-chan. I'm going to move... Really slowly. Unless you tell me to pull out...” 

“S'fine.” he murmured. The detective nodded but wasn't sure Ouma even noticed from this position. This position that he said would cause him less pain. He said it would feel good. Would he lie about that? 

He couldn't even dwell on it, as Ouma slowly pulled back and it felt as though he was being torn in some way. Torn into pieces. He rocked his hips forward and it was no better. He endured it until it finally happened again. Ouma brushed against his prostate and the feeling shot through him yet again, causing him to moan. It still hurt like hell, but there was some pay off now. 

Ouma was slowly rocking into him, hitting Saihara's prostate on every gentle thrust now, sending a jolt through him, causing him to cry out every time he pushed into him. Kokichi could feel him tighten around him-- and fuck, he had to do everything in his power to not completely wreck him and fuck him into a sobbing mess on the mattress. Just thinking about how he was taking his virginity too... Saihara was _actually_ his now.

“Are you feeling alright?” Ouma asked through a low groan.

“Y-yeah.” Shuichi lied with a soft sniffle.

“Should I stop?” Ouma asked, the concern in his voice apparent. He was completely aware that Shuichi was lying to him.

“No, don't stop.” Shuichi insisted.

“Is this pace too much for you?” Kokichi asked, though he honestly couldn't see himself going any slower.

“It's fine, Kokichi.”

His given name... Kokichi leaned in, kissing Saihara's shoulder. The detective winced at the feeling of deeper penetration, which wasn't lost on the smaller boy.

“Aah, are you okay?” Ouma asked, concern for Saihara permeating throughout his tone.

“I-I'm gonna cum soon.” Saihara exhaled, as Ouma continued fucking him slowly. The purple haired boy reached around, jerking Saihara off now, his main goal making the taller boy cum. Ouma knew there was no way he was gonna be able to make himself cum from this pace alone. It surprised him that he was only somewhat disappointed.

Saihara cried out again, “I want you to cum in me, Kokichi, please.” he begged.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck. “Shuichi, aahh, darling... I- I don't want to hurt you and I'm just not going to be able to unless-”

“I can take it.” Shuichi insisted, cutting the other off. He wasn't sure if he could take it. But he wanted to feel Ouma fill him with his seed, even if it meant a quicker pace and more pain and discomfort for himself.

Ouma wasn't sure how he could say no to that. In fact, if this were anyone else, he probably wouldn't be too concerned if he was hurting them or not. But this was Saihara. He wasn't lying when he said he... liked him. Liked was honestly an understatement. But it meant he really didn't want to hurt him. Did Shuichi actually want this or was he doing it for Ouma's benefit? Kokichi sighed, “Is that what you want? You want me to go faster?”

Saihara moaned, “Please.”

Ouma gripped the boy's hips, rocking into him faster now, causing Shuichi to cry out at the feeling. He didn't know how Ouma had taken his cock so easily, especially considering how much smaller Ouma was compared to him. 

Kokichi felt lost in the feeling now, Saihara's tight hole gripping his cock, nearly pulling him in. It was like his body was made for him. He couldn't help taking the detective a little harder now, listening to the crude, wet sounds their bodies made as he fucked him.

“Tell me what you want.” Ouma urged between thrusts as he roughly pounded into Shuichi's virgin hole.

“Aaa,” Shuichi whined, “I want you, Kokichi. I want your cum inside me!” 

“Yeah?” he asked, “You want me to fill you up with my cum, Shuichi?” 

“Y-yes, please!” Saihara felt actual tears run down his cheeks now, unsure if it was from the pain he was experiencing or the pleasure of Kokichi's length rubbing against his prostate repeatedly.

Hearing Shuichi desperately beg for his cum made him want him even more. Ouma just wanted to pin him down and ravage him... But at the same time, he found himself again genuinely not wanting to hurt him-- he hoped that he wasn't hurting him too badly now. Ouma felt so close to cumming again. And just the thought of cumming inside Shuichi was enough to set him off. He couldn't cum until Saihara did though, so he slowed his pace slightly, roughly jerking the detective off, trying to send him over the edge.

“I'm cumming, Kokichi!” Saihara cried, burying his face in the pillow as he felt the buildup begin to peak as pleasure washed over and through him. It wasn't like anything he had ever felt before. Maybe Kokichi wasn't lying when he said he was gonna cum harder than he had in his life. It was like a current running through his entire core and the release was so satisfying. Shuichi was drooling from the sensation without even realizing it.

Ouma quickly moved his hand over the head of Shuichi's dick as he released his seed into his hand, the taller boy jerking forward, bucking his hips inadvertently.

Finally. Ouma picked up the pace again, pounding into Saihara's hole now, feeling like he couldn't hold back anymore... But it wouldn't be for long. “Are you ready, beloved?” he panted, planting kisses along Shuichi's spine.

“Y-yeah.” Saihara groaned, the feeling of pain setting back in as Kokichi thrust into him. It... It hurt, but Ouma-kun did say he needed something more to get off. And Saihara had agreed after all. Part of him wondered if Ouma got off on seeing him in pain like this, considering he had said only the other day that he enjoyed seeing others suffering... But Shuichi shook the thought away, finding it almost as unpleasant as the physical pain he was feeling.

With a few final thrusts, Ouma came undone himself. The sensation he'd been feeling had spiraled out of his control, spilling his seed inside Saihara as he came with a guttural groan. Kokichi stayed pressed up against Shuichi, holding the blue haired boy close as he caught his breath after his orgasm. 

“I'm gonna pull out now.” Ouma said with a sigh. He slowly slid his softening length from Saihara and was only slightly alarmed to see streaks of vibrant blood on his dick. Oh... He was sure Saihara-chan was gonna totally freak out about this.

Shuichi turned around to lie back on his bed, glancing over at Ouma and immediately noticing the blood. “F-f-fuck.” he stammered, face growing pale at the sight of it. 

Wow, even Shuichi swore in situations like this. “Yeah, you're bleeding.” Ouma stated plainly with a nod. “It's okay, Saihara-chan. It's not a lot of blood and it's not gushing out of you or anything. Calm down.”

Shuichi didn't look calm at all. He had no idea if this was normal, though Kokichi seemed to think it was no big deal... At the same time, was he just saying that to make him feel better? He honestly wasn't sure and couldn't fight off the anxiety he felt about it.

“Wait here, lemme go clean up real quick and then I'll take care of you. Don't panic while I'm gone.” Ouma said, flashing a smile before leaving to go wash up in Shuichi's bathroom. He wasn't gone for long before returning with a fresh towel in case Saihara needed it.

Ouma handed Saihara the towel. “Here... I guess I tore you up pretty badly so... Sorry for that.” Shuichi noticed that he actually apologized. He felt warm inside-- He had seldom heard Ouma-kun apologize for anything and when he did, it always came across as insincere. Kokichi did feel badly about it and felt he owed the other a genuine apology.

“It's not your fault.” Shuichi smiled. “I'm sorry I bled on you.”

Ouma rolled his eyes. “Don't be the kinda guy that apologizes after letting another guy fuck him.”

“What kind of guy is that...?” Saihara asked curiously.

“Who knows for sure.” Ouma shrugged.

Shuichi smiled, shaking his head. He was already staring to feel better about things. “Will you stay for a bit?” he couldn't believe that he asked him to stay, but he wanted the comfort of another person right now, even if that person was Kokichi.

“Hmm, I guess I could. I did say I had to take care of you after all.” Ouma stood up, picking his unsightly boxer briefs up off the floor and sliding back into them.

“Those are so hideous, Ouma-kun.” Shuichi teased, sticking out his tongue in mock disgust.

Kokichi snatched Saihara's underwear off the floor, quickly throwing it in his face in retaliation. “Better than Shumai's boring, forgettable panties!”

“They're boxers!” Saihara insisted, flustered.

“Don't be so sensitive, nishishi~” he flashed a grin at the detective.

Shuichi slipped into his underwear as Ouma climbed into bed with him. The smaller boy cuddled up next to the other with no hesitation. Saihara didn't expect him to be the type to want to cuddle, but it admittedly felt nice to him. He almost wanted to ask him about it but the last thing he wanted was to discourage him from being close to him somehow and he didn't know if Kokichi would be uncomfortable if he brought it up. After all, this was an entirely new side to Ouma that he was seeing compared to how he normally acted around everyone. If only he could always be like this... Not that it could ever take away the things that he'd already done, but he was finding it hard to resist Kokichi at this point.

“I'm glad you came over today.” Shuichi sighed contentedly.

“Me too!” Ouma's tone was chipper. “But you really wore me out. I'm exhausted and it's still only morning.” he pouted, “How am I supposed to stay the night now?” the smaller boy nuzzled against Saihara, resting his head against the boy's shoulder.

“You could still stay the night, you know.” Saihara proposed.

“You want me to stay?” and the excitement in Ouma's voice was apparent.

“Well, yeah.” Shuichi laughed.

“How could I possibly say no to an invitation like that?” Ouma closed his eyes with a smile. “Is Saihara-chan gonna be okay? I mean, will you be able to walk after this?”

“I think I'll manage, Ouma-kun. But for now, I don't want to go anywhere if that's okay. Will you stay here with me?”

“If that's what you want, then I'll stay for as long as you like. And even take care of you til you die in ten minutes since you're bleeding out and all!” Ouma joked with a giggle.

Shuichi glossed over the comment, opting to instead pet Ouma affectionately as they lied together in bed. He wondered if Momota and Harukawa (If Momota ever spoke to him again that is) were going to question why he was spending more time with Ouma and why they were suddenly closer when the thought crossed his mind: Was Kokichi even planning on seeing him again? Or was this a one night stand? He was hit with a pang of anxiety at the thought of it all. He was starting to think that he didn't want this to be a one time thing himself. And while Ouma-kun was being more open with him now than ever, he couldn't help but to question just how honest the smaller boy actually was after being subjected to so many of his lies and deception in the past.

“What's wrong?” Ouma bluntly asked, looking over at Shuichi, completely interrupting his thoughts. “You have a real serious look on your face.” he poked Saihara in the cheek.

“Aah, it's nothing!” the blue haired boy was caught off guard by the sudden inquiry.

“That's a lie. You can't lie to a liar, remember?” Ouma sang cheerfully.

“Erm, well, I was just thinking.” Shuichi explained, unsure how to broach the subject.

“Mhmm.” Ouma hummed.

“Well, about us.” he stated directly. It was probably best to be direct with Kokichi anyway.

“Oh, fun. Go on.” Ouma shifted in the bed, resting his chin in his hand, leaning on his arm for support. He looked overly interested in what Shuichi had to say, though the detective wasn't sure if it was genuine or an exaggeration on his part.

“What exactly is this? Is this going to be a regular thing or was it just a one time thing...?” he trailed off, voice dying in his throat.

Ouma laughed wildly. “Shu-i-chiii, you are tooo cute. Overthinking things like this is SO you!”

Shuichi's face flushed as he averted his gaze. He somehow felt stupid for asking the question.

“It's not that complicated. It's whatever you want it to be. Because I like you, Saihara. And I want you to be happy.” there was something unfamiliar in his voice that Shuichi couldn't quite place. Was this some real side of Ouma that he was getting to see? Some part of him without the lies and jokes.

“What do you want it to be? Truthfully. No lies.” Shuichi asked.

“A regular thing.” his tone was low, deeper than his usual playful voice when he'd joke and play things off. There was no hint of any deception at all and Saihara almost didn't know what to make of it.

“R-Really?”

“Mmhm.” Kokichi nodded. “I told you, I like you... Your turn now!” His voice had returned to normal, the sing-song tone he occasionally spoke with immediately back in place. Shuichi had surmised this must be some kind of defense mechanism that Kokichi used to prevent being hurt by rejection. But that wasn't going to happen this time.

“I'd like that. Even though I feel like I can't keep up with your _experience_. And it makes me feel a bit self-conscious...”

“Whaaat? Saihara-chan, you did so great though! It'd be boring if we couldn't figure this stuff out together, ahaha! I like you just how you are, and that's the truth.” Ouma nodded with a smile.

“Thank you, Ouma-kun.”

“Ugh, don't thank me for every little compliment. It's weird, weirdo.”

“S-sorry.” he quickly apologized.

“And don't apologize so much! You don't have to talk to me like I'm some stranger when we both had our dicks inside each other a few minutes ago.” he giggled.

“R-right!” Shuichi smiled awkwardly. He felt a wave of relief rush over him. Like everything was going to be okay in the end. He wasn't sure how things with Ouma-kun were going to play out, but it seemed like they were at least on the same page and that was good enough for him. He just wanted to be around Kokichi for now. They could talk about the future later, once they escaped from this awful killing game together.

“You know, you're my favorite person here.” Ouma said abruptly, tracing circles on Shuichi's chest with his finger.

Shuichi felt pleased to hear this coming from the boy. It meant a lot to him to hear it, even though he was somewhat doubtful still. “Really? Out of everyone here?” he asked.

“Yeah. No one else is really nice to me like you are.” he continued, “I kinda feel like an outcast most of the time.” he pouted, looking slightly troubled by the statement.

“Oh.” Shuichi replied, glancing over at him. To be fair, Kokichi didn't act like he cared about making friends here and if anything, his behavior was responsible for alienating literally everyone. He was immediately reminded of Iruma-san and Gonta-kun. He wanted to ask Ouma more about the class trial and about the disturbing things he had said and did... Though Saihara wasn't sure that right now was the time to call him out for his part in things. “Do you want to make more friends?” he asked instead.

“I don't like being picked on by everyone. I'm not worried about making friends exactly though.” he confessed, Shuichi sensing the apprehension in his voice as he spoke, as if it wasn't something that he liked admitting.

Shuichi didn't necessarily feel the same way himself, but he somehow found himself understanding Ouma's perspective all the same. “I see. It's difficult when you feel singled out...”

“Yup, it is!” Kokichi agreed with a nod. “It doesn't matter. I'll never be popular like you are, Saihara-chan.” he was smiling softly.

 _Popular?_ He most definitely didn't feel popular. Maybe this was another joke or something. “I wouldn't say I'm popular.” Shuichi corrected, waiting for Ouma to tell him it was a lie.

“Sure you are! Everyone here likes you. But not as much as I do~” he sang playfully with a giggle.

Shuichi smiled, gazing into Ouma's eyes, who was staring back at him, returning Saihara's smile with one of his own. Kokichi affectionately wrapped his arms around the taller boy, pulling him closer against himself in an embrace. 

“I'm tired. Can we take a nap or something?” Ouma whined, kissing Saihara's neck gently.

“It's early enough, I suppose.” he replied coolly, unsure what to make of just how sweet Kokichi was acting. He still wasn't used to seeing him like this, but he was enjoying his good behavior thoroughly.

Ouma rest his arm across the other's chest, lying comfortably next to him. He closed his eyes now, breathing softly against Saihara, who made him feel warm and secure somehow. Suddenly, Kokichi felt an anxious thought pierce him-- there was so much that he needed to talk to Shuichi about. Things that he wasn't sure how to bring up. He was certain that he more than simply liked Saihara. It was well beyond that now. He struggled with the thought of telling him the truth. That he loved him. Would Shuichi understand and would that complicate things considering _that other thing he was hiding_...

Kokichi's mind was racing now as he contemplated all the possibilities. He wasn't sure if it was fair to Saihara to hide something so important, but this would most definitely affect his own plans in the killing game, his plans that were already set into motion. He must really love Saihara if he was considering his feelings in all of this. The frantic thoughts continued and Kokichi found himself getting very little sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far! The next chapter will be posted in a few days or a week tops.


	3. Chapter 3

Kokichi had dozed off before he realized it, cuddled up next to Shuichi. 

“Nnn, Saihara... Am I dreaming?” Ouma moaned groggily, looking up at the taller boy through half lidded eyes.

Shuichi gently pet Ouma's hair, pulling him in for an embrace. “You're in my room.”

Still half asleep, Kokichi closed his eyes again. “Okayyy.” he rested his head back down on the mattress without another word.

Saihara sighed contentedly, closing his eyes as well for only a moment. Ouma-kun looked so sleepy, but comfortable, which was nice seeing him look more unguarded than he normally did. It was still only the late afternoon, nearly dinner time. There was plenty of time until the nighttime announcement-- it wasn't as if they could go to sleep just yet, though Kokichi didn't seem to be concerned about that.

“Hey, Ouma-kun. Do you want to have dinner together tonight?”

“Shhh.” he silenced the detective, haphazardly shoving a hand in Shuichi's face rudely. The smaller boy had a sour look on his face, squeezing his eyes shut as if he had been disturbed by the question. He hated being woken up abruptly when he was asleep and especially considering he'd barely slept at all during their nap and had only just fallen asleep. Besides, Kokichi didn't exactly want to go hang around the others in the dining hall to begin with when they wanted nothing to do with him. It's not like he didn't know how everyone felt about him...

“Ouma-kun.” Shuichi tried again, “It's too early to sleep. You're going to wreck your sleep schedule at this rate...” he warned, feeling concerned for the purple haired boy.

“God, Saihara.” Ouma snapped, now clearly annoyed and more awake than he had been before. “You're being the _worst_ kind of nag right now.” he rolled over, out from the detective's arms and curled up facing away from the boy.

It certainly wasn't the first time he'd seen Kokichi get angry, but he wasn't used to seeing that anger directed towards him, necessarily. He was being such a brat. Shuichi narrowed his eyes, though Ouma was paying him no mind. He was frustrated seeing him act this way after they had seemingly just connected with one another. Once again, Shuichi was left feeling insecure about everything now-- whether or not any of this had meant anything to Ouma-kun.

“Fine.” Shuichi said coldly. “I'll go with Momota-kun and Harukawa-san instead then.” this was his own passive way of snapping back at the smaller boy.

Kokichi felt a familiar twinge of jealousy at the remark. He had finally gotten Saihara all to himself and now he was abandoning him for his friends... “Yeah, I get it. Your BFFs.” he scoffed. He shouldn't be surprised or upset that Shuichi was choosing his friends over him, but he felt himself growing angrier and angrier the more he thought about it. 

“Well at least they treat me respectfully...” Shuichi murmured, the words coming out much more quietly than he had anticipated. It was hard for him to stand up to people sometimes, especially to someone like Ouma-kun.

Kokichi huffed, abruptly standing up from the bed. He rushed over to where they had left their clothes, fishing his out of the pile as he started getting dressed. If this is what Shuichi wanted to do, then fine. He would just leave and let him be with his friends. Kokichi felt abandoned, even though he was maybe blowing things a bit out of proportion, he couldn't help it. The best thing to do was just leave and give himself time to collect himself.

“Wh-what? Where are you going?” Saihara questioned, sounding confused at this entire bizarre and sudden happening.

“I'm going back to my room since you want to be the sleep police.” why couldn't he stop talking? Kokichi felt so bitter about Saihara choosing his friends over him now, and while he knew maybe Shuichi didn't deserve to be treated cruelly like this, he couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to isolate himself from the only person here who even remotely cared for him. He continued anyway, “Maybe you can fuck your idiot space boyfriend or that assassin murder chick instead.” fuck, he knew he was taking this way too far, but he couldn't catch the words from spilling out of his mouth.

“O-Ouma-kun!” Shuichi exclaimed, in shock at the vicious remark. He watched in silence as Ouma fastened his scarf around his neck, before turning towards the door. He wanted him to stay. He wanted to resolve this. “You don't have to leave.”

_Don't say anything else. Don't hurt him any more._ Kokichi felt his jaw tighten, clenching his teeth, but the words came out anyway. “Maybe I'm just tired of being around a jerk like you for an entire day, Saihara-chan.” he said it with little hesitation.

Saihara said nothing, overcome with the sharp stabbing feeling of anxiety that made him feel like he had needles running through his veins. The fact that Ouma-kun could be so cold and uncaring, especially after he had just given himself to the boy. Was he really surprised though? He'd definitely witnessed Kokichi say worse things than this, it was just that this was a bit more personal this time...

“Do you mean that?” Shuichi asked, voice trembling. “Did this mean anything to you at all, Ouma-kun?”

Kokichi stood with his back to the detective, biting his lip and looking down at the floor. “Maybe. Maybe not~” he sang, completely lying to the other before walking out of the room. This was probably for the best... In a day or so, Saihara-chan was going to be so heartbroken when finds out the plan and it would probably be better to break things off now. He quickly returned to his room, feeling a million thoughts rushing around through his head. 

Shuichi sat on his bed in silence, stomach churning as he became lost in his thoughts. It felt like no time at all before dinner had rolled around, but he opted to stay in his room. Even as the end of mealtime approached, he decided he couldn't stomach the thought of food after everything that he'd been through with Kokichi. The rapid buzzing of the intercom at his door suddenly broke him free of his thoughts. He didn't want to see anyone right now, but he didn't want to stay holed up in his room anymore either. Reluctantly, he stood up from his bed and walked the short distance towards his door, turning the handle and opening it.

“You missed dinner.” Maki stated plainly, standing at the open doorway, arms at her side.

“I know,” Shuichi began, “I'm... I'm not feeling well.” he insisted, hoping that Harukawa-san wouldn't press him further. 

She stared blankly at him, as if she wasn't willing to accept that as a viable excuse. Shuichi wasn't sure if he should continue speaking or not when Maki was so hard to read at times. Though it was clear to him that she was trying to get him to go with her to the dining hall. He wondered if his friends were concerned about him and maybe he was causing them problems by making them worry.

He looked down at his feet. It's not like he could just go and tell her and Momota what had happened or anything. Maybe things would have been easier if he could, but he had no one to confide in and even if he did tell them, there's no way either of them would ever accept him starting any kind of relationship (or whatever it was) with Kokichi.

“I'm sure Momota-kun is fine with me not showing up.” he said, rubbing his arm awkwardly.

She scoffed at his remark, narrowing her eyes slightly. It was clear that she was annoyed with their falling out, as she had previously expressed to him. Shuichi suddenly felt stupid for inciting any drama and pulling her into the middle of it all. 

“That's fine.” she said, turning her back on him.

“W-wait,” he called out to her as she walked off. “I'll go with you.”

He supposed maybe he should go with his friend. It wasn't as if he had anything else going on and maybe Momota-kun was waiting for him as well. They left for the dining hall together, though Shuichi felt anxious every step of the way with the threat of possibly running into Ouma. It wasn't as if he didn't want to see the boy, but he was dreading their next meeting. Would Ouma-kun apologize? Shuichi wondered if maybe he had any part in Kokichi's over-the-top reaction. Did he need to apologize to him for anything? No, that couldn't be. He recalled the events leading up to their argument as he walked with Maki. He only said that he would get dinner with his friends instead because Ouma seemed beyond uninterested in going with him... Did that really warrant an apology from him? 

As they entered the dining hall, Saihara was relieved to see that only Kaito was inside. Even though he didn't react to seeing Maki and Shuichi, he knew that deep down, Momota-kun must be somewhat relieved to see him out of his room. He sat down with his friends, hoping that things would begin to shift back into normality in time. 

\---

Kokichi lied in bed in his chaotically messy room, face buried in his pillow. He _wanted_ to apologize to Shuichi, but he wasn't sure how to begin to say sorry for what he'd said. He could easily count on one hand the number of times he'd sincerely apologized in his life, so it wasn't like he had a lot of practice. Besides, he already said 'sorry' to Saihara once today... Ouma groaned into his pillow, rolling over to look up at his ceiling. No wonder he had no real friends here.

Enough was enough, he was determined to go find Shuichi. He could apologize to him! It was only a couple of words and Saihara deserved it, if anyone did. Ouma rushed out of his room and down the steps to the detective's, quickly buzzing the intercom on the door. He wasn't there? Or maybe he just wasn't answering. Kokichi glanced around the dormitory hall. No one was around, so it wouldn't be a problem if he picked the lock on the door. He carefully worked open the lock and quietly opened the door, in case Saihara was inside sleeping or something. 

Oh, he really wasn't here... But the purple haired boy wasn't done looking for him yet. He decided to check the dining hall, the next most likely place that Shuichi would be. If he was alone, he'd have the opportunity to talk to him. Ouma didn't care if he didn't intend to be seen by anyone on campus initially, it was more important to talk to Shuichi and make things right again.

He walked briskly to the dining hall, feeling hopeful that Saihara would be there and be alone. He ran through his head exactly what he'd say to the other when he saw him and it sounded perfect in his mind. 

Somehow, he felt nervous as he approached the dining hall's doors. He pushed them open and stepped inside only to see Saihara with Momota and Harukawa. They seem to be doing... Just fine. Shuichi seemed to be doing well. He was smiling, even. Ouma grit his teeth, everything he'd planned to say to Saihara immediately gone now. Did he even care that they were 'fighting'? And how was he supposed to apologize with _them_ in the way? Besides, he'd been running all over the campus looking for Saihara and here he is, having a great time with his friends.

He knew how he could get Shuichi's attention though.

Kokichi walked in to the opposite side of the room, ignoring Shuichi entirely, not even bothering to glance his way. He grabbed a Panta from the fridge and sat as far from them as he could. Saihara immediately locked onto the smaller boy, noticing that Ouma seemed to be avoiding looking his way intentionally, while in the past, he would smile and greet him. But now, he was pretending he didn't exist.

Momota trailed off mid-sentence, immediately realizing that Kokichi was in the room. Just his presence alone seemed to cause a conflict, though Shuichi couldn't blame Kaito for feeling the way he did about the boy. It wasn't long before Maki caught on too. 

Saihara nervously waited for the impending chaos that was guaranteed to ensue.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Kaito spat with a glare.

“Oh? Is there some rule banning me from the dining hall?” Kokichi asked, narrowing his eyes at Kaito with a crooked smile.

“Tch. I thought you would know better than to show your face here.” Momota replied.

“Hmmm, guess you were wrong~” Ouma said casually, looking at his drink as if he found it more interesting than anything Kaito would have to say. “You don't have a problem with me being here, right, Saihara-chan?!” 

Shuichi froze now, feeling his heart sink in his chest. He wasn't sure what Kokichi was doing. He didn't know how to respond to that. He looked down at his tray, at a loss for words. Maki must have picked up on his behavior immediately, sensing that something was off with how Shuichi was acting.

“Saihara.” Harukawa said abruptly, drawing in The Ultimate Detective's attention. “Did something happen between you and Ouma?”

“W-what? No, w-why?” he stammered. Ouma's gaze shot over towards Shuichi now, as if he was suddenly interested in their conversation, but Saihara was too busy deflecting his friend's question to notice that he had his attention.

“Did he do something to you?” Maki interjected pointedly, and her cutting tone only held Shuichi's attention on her. 

“No!” Shuichi insisted, but before he could continue, Kaito interrupted.

“What did he do to you, Shuichi?!” his voice was raised and Saihara knew that Maki's remark must have set off some kind of alarm inside him that was causing him to overreact. Somehow, this was the first real thing that Kaito had said to him since the class trial and while this whole situation wasn't ideal, he was glad that Momota-kun had spoken to him one-on-one.

Suddenly, Kokichi erupted in wild laughter at their conversation, causing everyone to quiet down and stare in his direction. He couldn't bite his tongue anymore. Their whole conversation was stupid. He was annoyed at everything now with just how overbearing Shuichi's friends were. 

“Tell them, Saihara-chan. Tell them what I did to you.” the peppy tone he used made Shuichi beyond uncomfortable.

“I said nothing happened.” Shuichi insisted, though it was more like a plea for Ouma to stop what he was doing.

“Aww, so you agree that it was nothing then?” Kokichi's personality seemed to do a complete flip, his voice dark and low without any of his usual cheer behind it, just as Saihara had come to expect from the boy.

Kaito and Maki exchanged confused glances while Shuichi had a pained expression on his face. He wasn't sure why Ouma was doing this. Was this really just about being jealous of his friends? Or did he use Shuichi and was only now showing his true colors? While Saihara was usually decent at determining what was a lie and what wasn't, he found himself at a loss.

Ouma looked over at Shuichi, as if he expected the boy to say something. He locked his gaze onto Saihara's, staring him down.

“What's he mean, Shuichi?” Momota growled, glaring at Ouma. Harukawa was staring daggers at the purple haired boy, as if she wanted to kill him (it wouldn't be the first time).

“Saihara-chan said it was nothing, so that must be true since Mister Detective is above lying, riiight?”

“Enough of this bullshit! What did you do to him?” Kaito stood up abruptly, his chair screeching along the floor.

“Maybe nothing.” Ouma shrugged. “Or maybe I took something _special_ from him~” he giggled.

Saihara's face flushed. Ouma wouldn't possibly say it here in front of everyone, would he? “Ouma-kun, please...” Shuichi pleaded, voice low. And while Kokichi heard him clearly, he ignored him, turning his attention towards Momota and Harukawa instead.

Ouma grinned widely, convincing himself that this was for the best. How could he have ever thought that things were going to work out with Shuichi anyway? If anything, this only reinforced his image of looking like a villain to everyone, which could only help him in the end with his plan.

“What did you take from him, you asshole?!” Maki swore, demanding an answer from the shorter boy.

“Guys, please stop it...” Shuichi said in a hushed whisper. He glanced nervously at Ouma now, who was grinning as if he was getting some kind of enjoyment out of this. Was he? He laughed and Shuichi felt dizzy, like he wanted to throw up.

“You really wanna know?” Ouma teased.

“Everyone,” Saihara was begging now, “stop it!” he raised his voice.

“Shut up or I'll shut you up myself!” Kaito threatened Kokichi, pounding his fists on the table. He didn't want to see his friend in distress like this, regardless of any dispute they'd faced.

“But dontcha wanna know what happened to Saihara-chan though? Don't you wanna know how-” and it only took a second before Momota had rushed across the room, punching Ouma in the face with no hesitation, shutting him up instantly. Kokichi held a hand to his face in mild shock. This was not the first time he'd been assaulted by Momota and both times now he found himself at a complete loss when it happened, as if Kaito managed to knock his entire personality out of him. Though Kokichi had punched Kaito at the class trial, that was only because he was defending himself... It's not like he was the instigator that time or anything. And he should have seen this attack coming like last time, but his guard was down for sure, after being more concerned with what was going on with Saihara.

“Momota-kun!” Shuichi yelled, running over to his friend's side.

Ouma rubbed his hand along his mouth, taking note of the trail of smeared blood that remained on his skin. The fact that he was bleeding and Saihara seemed more concerned with Momota than anything made him fume inside. “Isn't Saihara-chan worried about me too?” he sounded hurt, but Shuichi knew that it was probably put on.

Shuichi looked over at Ouma, a dismal look on his face, saying nothing before dragging Kaito from the dining hall with Maki glaring menacingly at Kokichi as she stormed out with them.

Kokichi swore under his breath, holding his sore face where he had just gotten punched. “Owww...” he whined once everyone had left the room. 

\---

“Momota-kun!” Shuichi scolded the taller boy as the trio headed towards the courtyard. “You can't just... punch your problems away!”

“I was punching YOUR problems away!” he insisted. “I can't stand that little prick... Tormenting everyone here. I won't stand for it anymore.”

Maki opted to stay silent, eyes downcast as they sat together on a bench in the courtyard. Shuichi wondered if she knew what was going on. He knew Kaito was clueless, but Maki was pretty sharp. Either way, Shuichi wasn't sure he could keep things with Kokichi a secret for long, especially since the other didn't seem to care at all about him. He was willing to spill their secrets in front of everyone in the worst possible way and he even laughed about it.

“You can talk to us, y'know.” Kaito said, breaking the silence. He didn't look Shuichi in the eyes and the detective wondered if he was still somewhat upset with him after everything that had happened at the class trial...

“I know that.” Shuichi sighed.

Silence again.

He had to tell them. Otherwise, Kokichi would, and he wanted things to be on his own terms. He felt anxious, wondering how they'd take the news. Maybe this would be the end of their friendship. But he had to tell them regardless. The truth was more important than that. “I may have...” the blue haired boy started, “I might have gotten _involved_ with Ouma-kun.” there. It was out in the open now.

“You what?” Kaito asked, seemingly unaware of what Shuichi was saying.

“Involved.” he said again.

“He means a relationship.” Harukawa clarified with a deadpan expression. Momota had a shocked look on his face.

Before anyone could say anything else, Shuichi blurted out, “It just happened! But I was wrong. I think he lied to me about everything anyway...”

“Of course he did, Shuichi.” Momota sighed. “What did you think would happen getting involved with someone like _that_? After the things he said and did??”

_Someone like that..._ He didn't know, honestly. It wasn't like he could say that he didn't know how Kokichi was beforehand.

“How could you bring yourself to do it?” Maki asked point blank.

Saihara was taken aback by the question. “He's... He wasn't so bad. I still don't think he's that bad, actually...” his voice only grew lower as he spoke, as if he knew he was saying something that wouldn't be well-received by the group.

“He killed Gonta.” Momota raised his voice, reminding Shuichi, as if he had somehow forgotten.

“I- I know that. I can't forget what happened.”

“... Then why Ouma?” Maki asked indignantly, as if Shuichi would somehow find an answer.

“It just happened. I don't know, really. I'm not defending him... I'm just telling you what happened.” he suddenly felt exhausted from the incident in the dining hall and this conversation. “Guys, do you mind if I go back to my room?”

Both Maki and Kaito said nothing, averting their gaze from him as he stood from the bench they sat on.

“Thanks for hearing me out.” the detective turned, taking a few steps to the dorms before he stopped. “Maybe you could keep all of this a secret?”

“That's probably for the best.” Harukawa said while Momota sat in silence.

“Thank you.” Shuichi added, walking towards the dormitory building. As he approached his room, he noticed that his door was unlocked. Did he leave it unlocked by accident? He must have when he left with Harukawa-san in a rush to meet Momota-kun in the dining hall. Saihara opened his door cautiously, stepping inside the room and flipping the light switch on the wall. He locked the door behind him before walking over to his bed and collapsing on the mattress with a deep sigh. Today was unreal. Shuichi closed his eyes, wondering when he'd manage to drift off to sleep.

Suddenly, the sound of the intercom buzzing from his door jolted him to his feet. He immediately headed for the door. It must be Kaito or Maki with a last minute thing, probably reminding him to come to training tonight. He opened the door ready to greet them when--

Kokichi stood at the door with a pathetically dejected look on his face.

“Aah-” Saihara choked out.

“I need to talk to you.” his voice was soft and flat, devoid of his usual spark. It didn't sound like it belonged to Kokichi at all. 

He should slam the door in his face. Tell him to leave and never come back. “Come in...” but he was a pushover.

Kokichi stepped inside the room, standing awkwardly by the door, as if he were waiting for Shuichi to give him some hint of what he was allowed to do in his room.

“You can sit down.” Saihara offered quietly.

“Okay.” he said, quickly taking off his shoes before finding a seat on the bed looking only slightly less gloomy than before.

“You wanted to talk.” Shuichi reminded him.

“I do.” Ouma confirmed.

“...”

“...” Ouma took a breath, closing his eyes. “I'm- I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Shuichi!” he sounded pained.

Could he forgive him? Could he believe that he was actually sincere after the things he said and did? And that was only things that he did today. Nevermind all the other things that Kokichi had put him through during their time here.

“Do you mean that?” Saihara's voice was low and it was clear he was upset. It was so unlike Saihara to let his anger get the better of him. But he was just so disappointed after everything that he'd been through today, he couldn't hide the frustration he was feeling.

Kokichi was well aware of the anger interlaced throughout his tone. “Of course I do. I'm not lying! I can't make up for what happened, but-”

“I told Momota-kun and Harukawa-san about us because of you. I couldn't trust you to not tell everyone first.” 

Kokichi looked hurt. “I wasn't actually gonna...” he trailed off, glancing down at the floor. He probably was going to tell them, truthfully. But it was easier for him to deny it.

“You were, Ouma. You nearly did and you enjoyed it.”

“I... I didn't enjoy it.” he replied meekly, fidgeting with his own hands, looking down still as if it were impossible to make eye contact with the detective.

“How am I supposed to trust you again when you're lying to me right now?”

Ouma glanced over at Shuichi finally, steeling his nerves. “You can't trust me.” he laughed shortly. “I guess you shouldn't have trusted me in the first place.” he clenched his fist, feeling frustrated that out of everything he'd said to Shuichi so far, this was the most truthful statement. 

“But I did.” Saihara reminded him.

“You could give me one more chance, Saihara. I won't let you down again! I just- I was-”

“Jealous?” Shuichi interrupted, “I know. That's not really an excuse. You can't be controlling about the people I spend time with whether you're my friend, boyfriend, or whatever it is we are.”

Ouma's heart fluttered at the thought of being Saihara's boyfriend. Was there a chance they could have been each others boyfriends and did he ruin his chance to make it happen?

“Yes, you're right! I just... if you'll let me explain-” he was energetically trying to justify his actions and was willing to say anything at this point to convince Saihara that he meant it.

“Is there really a good explanation for it though?”

“Well. No, but...” Kokichi paused, feeling desperate now. He didn't want to leave things like this with the detective. Even if things were going to blow up soon, he still had more time. “I have such strong feelings for you, Shuichi! I still do. That's why I'm here- begging you for forgiveness~” he said sprightly. 

Shuichi sighed. “I don't really want you to beg me, Ouma-kun.”

“Erm, what do you want then? Because I'll do anything to prove myself to you.” he laughed nervously.

“I just need time.” Saihara said, turning his head away from the other.

“Aah, I don't know if that's a guaranteed thing here.” he replied, sounding concerned.

“I'll take my chances.”

“Hah, I getcha.” Ouma looked down, though Saihara wasn't even looking his way anymore anyway.

Shuichi sat down on the bed next to Ouma, leaving a decent gap between the two. But he was sitting down next to him and that was progress in Kokichi's eyes. Though Ouma found himself feeling slightly nervous suddenly. Wasn't that Saihara's job? He wondered if Saihara even cared enough about him to feel nervous being around him anymore.

“Oh boy. I really messed things up, huh.”

Saihara said nothing, glancing his way.

“Can I sit close to you or do you find me disgusting now?”

“I couldn't be disgusted with you.” Saihara admitted, his face feeling warm suddenly. He didn't know why he still had feelings for Ouma, but he couldn't treat him cruelly, even after all of this.

Kokichi smiled, relieved at the thought. He slid next to Shuichi on the mattress, timidly putting his hand on his. “Is this okay, Shumai?” he asked affectionately.

Shuichi felt his heartrate increase. “Yeah...” he trailed off.

“Your skin is so soft.” Ouma observed.

Shuichi's blush deepened, cheeks tinted pink, as Ouma rested his head against Saihara's shoulder. Ouma closed his eyes, drinking in the feeling of being close to the other again.

Saihara could feel himself becoming growingly anxious though-- unable to stop himself from wondering if this was some game Ouma-kun was playing with him. Thoughts of the way that Kokichi had acted in the dining hall rushed into his head. Was he lying now for whatever reason? He couldn't think clearly about it and slightly pulled away from the smaller boy.

“Hey, it's okay. What's wrong?” Ouma inquired, worried that things weren't ever going to return to normal.

“I think... This is a bit too sudden.” Saihara admitted and Kokichi immediately moved himself away from the boy, leaving space between them.

“Oh, r-right.” he stammered. How disappointing... It's not like they didn't have sex earlier today. Even though it felt like ages ago now. Everything was perfect then. How did he manage to ruin things this much and this quickly?

Saihara lied back in his bed with Ouma sitting up next to him watching him. He just wanted to be close to Saihara... But Saihara wanted nothing to do with him now. The detective pat the spot on his bed next to him and Ouma's heart swelled. Maybe he did want him nearby, he just needed to take things slow this time.

Kokichi hesitantly lied back next to him on his back, staring at the ceiling blankly. He could try to at least give Shuichi some space.

“I want things to go back to how they were. I want to understand you and why you thought you needed to do what you did. And I want to know why you thought that antagonizing me was the answer at the time.” Shuichi stated plainly, speaking his mind.

“Err, I want things to go back to how they were too. And...” it was so hard for him to not lie, but even Ouma knew this wasn't the time for lies if he wanted to win Saihara back. He took in a breath, swallowing his pride. “I'm not lying when I say that I don't deserve you, Saihara-chan.” his face flushed lightly. “I thought maybe if you saw how horrible I am, you'd wake up and realize you deserve better than a liar like me.”

“I don't think you're horrible. I just feel like I don't understand you most days. But I'm trying to understand.”

“Thank you.” he sounded genuinely surprised to hear the words come from Shuichi. No one had ever told him something like that before.

They lied in bed saying nothing until the ringing of the intercom on the door disrupted their silence. Shuichi stood up to get it but Ouma couldn't understand why he would want to when they were so comfortable in bed together. He wondered if he should hide or something, but it didn't seem like Saihara was too concerned with him being there in his room, which was reassuring. He was far too honest for his own good. Shuichi stood in front of the door, hand on the doorknob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be posted in a few days, probablyyy. Thanks for sticking with this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some mild dubcon in this chapter, but it's still consensual in the end, it just kinda... idk, starts out being a little iffy. Just a warning for anyone who needs it.

Saihara opened the door to find Kaito standing in front of him. He wondered if Maki had insisted he come here for some reason since Momota didn't seem like he was fully over what happened between them yet. For him to be here now alone...

“I just wanted to remind you about training and-” he immediately noticed Ouma lying in Shuichi's bed, looking over at Kaito with a smirk. “What is that little prick doing here?!”

“You mad?” Kokichi mockingly stuck his tongue out at Momota.

Kaito swore under his breath, taking a step into Shuichi's room, pushing past him. “Do you need to be taught another lesson?”

“Wah, Shuichi, save me! Momota-chan is here to beat me up again!” Kokichi feigned concern for his well-being as he jumped up from the bed in case Kaito really did decide to try to hurt him again. He wished that Saihara was closer so he could have ran behind him to make Momota even angrier. Not that someone as soft as Shuichi would be able to protect him realistically... Even Ouma realized that.

“YOU provoked ME, you little shit!” Kaito glared at the smaller boy, who was snickering at his outburst.

Shuichi sighed, seeing that Kokichi seemed to be back to his normal self now after their serious and heartfelt conversation if he was so willing to start more conflict with Momota. He turned to Kaito, ready to mediate things to the best of his ability.

“Momota-kun, I'm not really feeling up to training tonight...” he realized he had no excuse, especially with Ouma-kun here in his room like this. It was obvious that they were working things out and he knew that Kaito would never approve of that.

“Yeah, I can see that you're busy.” he spat, “Just remember who your real friends are.”

Kokichi narrowed his eyes at the implication that _he_ wasn't somehow included as one of Saihara's real friends. _God, he was starting to hate this idiot._

“Momota-kun...” Shuichi pleaded desperately, wishing that things didn't have to be this complicated for him, but he knew that as long as he was with Kokichi, it would never be that easy.

“After everything he put you through, you have him here in your room? In your bed?” he sounded disgusted and it made Shuichi feel genuinely bad, partly due to the fact that he was still finding himself questioning his choices at times and his friend's blatant disapproval only made it harder for him.

“I'm just-” Shuichi began, but Kokichi interrupted, walking from the bed over to where they stood by the door.

“Back off, _space dick_. Saihara-chan said he's not up for your lame, little hangout tonight.”

Kaito was fuming, clenching his fists and staring Kokichi down, as if he had only paused to contemplate his options. The smaller boy really wondered if he was going to punch him again. He hoped not as his face still ached from earlier, though he'd be ready this time if Kaito really did try to attack him. 

“So this is how things are gonna be then. I see how it is.” Kaito turned and walked out of the room without saying another word. 

Things were somehow blowing up entirely for Shuichi. He huffed, clearly frustrated, closing his door before walking back to his bed. He sat down, burying his face in his hands. Shuichi didn't understand why it had to be this way.

Kokichi walked over, taking the spot on the bed next to him. “Aah... this is my fault.” he said, rubbing his face sheepishly. “I was just trying to help this time too.” though he honestly didn't feel _that_ badly about driving Momota away. He knew that Saihara was struggling with their new relationship and he was most likely making things a bit more difficult for him, but he couldn't deny his own feelings in this, even if he was being a bit selfish about keeping Saihara to himself.

“I know, Ouma-kun.” Shuichi sighed. He couldn't be too upset with him, as it seemed like Kokichi really was trying to defend him when Kaito was there. He just wished he could be a little less abrasive when it came to his friends.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Ouma asked.

“Err, no. I don't think so.”

“Are you sure? I'd do _anything_ for you, you know.” Kokichi added, his tone dripping with a seductive intensity.

_Was Ouma-kun coming onto him right now?_ After all of this especially. Though somehow, the thought excited him still. He shifted awkwardly, feeling his face flush, finding himself unsure of how to deal with the boy's overwhelming energy.

“And I can think of a few things that might make you feel _a lot_ better...” Kokichi leaned in closer to the taller boy, cupping his face in his hands.

“Ouma-kun...” Shuichi murmured softly, averting his gaze from the other, eyes cast downward.

Kokichi's hands wandered down to Saihara's waistline on his pants as he toyed with the waistband.

“O-Ouma-kun!” Saihara exclaimed anxiously. Waiting to see what the other was going to do, he sat breathlessly on the bed, gripping the comforter in anticipation as every muscle in his body suddenly felt tense.

Ouma slowly popped open the button on Shuichi's pants, drawing down the zipper. Shuichi could only feel his body growing warmer as it seemed like all the blood inside him rushed directly to his cock and Kokichi could only grin as he watched him get hard. He pulled down the fabric, exposing the boy's boxers and growing erection, desperately pressing against his underwear.

Ouma gently ran his hand along his length, eyes fixed on the bulge straining against his boxers. “I can't get enough of you~”

Saihara groaned as Kokichi groped him through his boxers, palming his length as precum seeped into the thin fabric from the head of his cock. God, he was such a tease sometimes and as much as Shuichi's body betrayed him, he was hesitant to let the smaller boy continue all the same.

Ouma could only believe that this would fix things for them. He just needed to make Saihara realize that things could be like the way they were before, trying his hardest to evoke some sort of reaction from Shuichi. It was like makeup sex or something.

“Ouma-kun, this... T-this is too much.” Shuichi huffed, voice trembling as he gently pushed Kokichi away and fastened his pants with a soft sigh. Truthfully, he just wasn't ready for things to go back to normal as if nothing had happened.

“Saihara-chaaan~” he whined, “Are you mad at me?” Kokichi asked, faking a cry.

_Was he mad at Ouma?_ “I'm not exactly mad at you, no...”

“Maybe you should rough me up a little to get over it, nishishi! Take out all your aggression on me.”

“W-what?” Shuichi stammered, completely flustered by the other's remark.

“You know. Pull my hair, choke me, call me mean names.” he replied as if it was the most natural response in the world.

“I don't think that's-”

“That's not your kink? Shit, I thought for sure I had you figured out.” he almost sounded disappointed.

“No, I mean I don't think that's going to help.” Shuichi clarified, trying to find it in him to believe that Kokichi was simply joking around, but he still had his doubts.

“So... You're saying you _don't_ think I deserve to be punished for your forgiveness?!”

“No, I don't think that at all.”

“Shu-i-chiii!” Ouma cried excitedly, jumping into Saihara's arms.

“Uwa~!” he was caught off guard by the sudden contact, slightly loosing his balance and struggling to hold up the smaller boy.

Ouma nuzzled against his handsome detective, taking his words as reassurance that it would all work out in the end. “Don't you go thinking that being smacked around is my kink though.”

“Aah, I didn't think that it was.” Shuichi disclaimed as he frantically shook his head in denial, once again, casting his eyes downward, finding himself unable to make eye contact with the other.

“But maybe it totally is my kink, who knows, ahaha~!” Ouma snickered, more than just amused at the possibility of misleading the taller boy, even if it was over something as insignificant as this. He glanced up through his thick lashes, observing Shuichi's reaction, noting just how tense the other had become. There was something he found fascinating about the detective's awkward and shy nature. Smiling slyly, he leaned into Saihara, sliding his hands over the boy's chest and gently placing his arms around his neck, his warm breath fanning against his delicate skin, instantly drawing a sharp inhale from Saihara. Ouma planted soft kisses against him, trailing them along his neck, before nipping his earlobe playfully. He kissed his neck once again, thriving off the reaction he managed to elicit from the taller boy.

Saihara moaned, feeling his face grow hot, knees weak, and body vulnerable from Kokichi's teasing touch. He shuddered, unable to stifle his reaction to the delicate contact, feeling extremely sensitive and overwhelmed.

“Does Saihara-chan like that?” Ouma murmured against Shuichi's exposed skin, peppering more soft kisses along his neck and throat.

“It feels good...” he admitted shyly, somehow disappointed that he had entirely lost control of the situation due to Kokichi's forward and _persuasive_ nature.

“Let me make you feel good~” Ouma purred, sucking the boy's pale, tender skin, only retreating to kiss the red mark he'd left behind and admire his work.

“P-please don't leave me any hickies.” Shuichi begged, holding his hand to his neck where Ouma had only just left the keepsake that he was entirely unaware of.

“Ahn, poor Saihara-chan. It might be too late for that. Do you wanna leave me a matching one?” Kokichi offered cheerily.

Shuichi sighed, brows furrowed in frustration at the other's glaring lack of restraint. He was far from thrilled, but it seemed that he would most definitely have to come to terms with it. “You wear a scarf, so it's not like anyone would notice it!” he countered, only slightly upset about the hickey and more so that Kokichi seemed to be so careless when it came to these things.

“But _we'd_ know it's there. And if you want, I can give you a scarf to wear to cover yours up and we could even be twinning!” the smaller boy was smiling excitedly at the thought.

Okay, it was admittedly cute that he was so into the idea of them matching. Shuichi couldn't help but to smile softly for the first time in what felt like forever. He looked away, trying to not encourage Kokichi, though he was positive that he couldn't hide the fact that he was charmed by him at times...

Ouma grinned upon noticing Saihara's reluctant smile. It made him feel warm inside, as if he were a step closer to having his Shuichi back. He realized that the detective wanted to take things slowly and he would respect his wishes... For now anyway. He opted to snuggle up against Saihara instead. “Can we spoon?”

Shuichi was taken aback that Kokichi just wanted to cuddle with him instead of doing more. And while Saihara wouldn't have minded normally, he wasn't ready to be intimate with the other quite yet, despite his still-hard cock insisting otherwise. But spooning was a nice compromise and he was more than willing to be close like this with the leader. “I'd like that.” he answered softly.

“Dibs on little spoon~” Ouma quickly announced, claiming the spot on the bed that he wanted, even though he knew Saihara wouldn't have a preference. Kokichi did want to cuddle with Shuichi, though he still had other plans for him... He just needed to convince Saihara that he wanted it badly enough. It may be manipulation, but wasn't that lying with extra steps anyway? 

They lied back together, Shuichi positioning himself behind the smaller boy, holding him close to his body, though trying to leave enough space between them to hide his own erection. Due to his smaller size, Ouma didn't quite fit perfectly against him, but it was still nice all the same. Shuichi desperately hoped that Kokichi wouldn't notice his erection that was nearly pressing against him-- Well, he already knew about it, Saihara really just didn't want to draw any more attention to it. Aside from that, it was so relaxing just lying there with the other, he was sure he would fall asleep at this rate, despite it being a little too early for bed. Before he knew it, he heard Ouma's steady breathing as he slept... Though he didn't realize that it was a lie and he was simply pretending to sleep. Ouma hoped Saihara would doze off himself now that he had no one to talk to.

It didn't take long before Shuichi felt his eyelids grow heavier, as he slowly drifted off to sleep, snoring softly next to the purple haired boy, who adjusted himself to line up with Saihara's groin perfectly. He gently arched his back, rubbing his ass against the other's groin teasingly, trying to be as subtle as possible as to not wake him quite yet. He could feel Saihara's hard length pressing against his body immediately from the contact. Of course he could only do so much grinding against Shuichi before it would have an effect on his own body too, but he'd worry about that later. The goal was to ensure that Shuichi would get worked up enough to want him and Kokichi was sure he could make it happen.

Shuichi stirred lightly, with a soft groan. He reached for Ouma, holding him closer as he was now awake and painfully aware of his own erection and the fact that it was pressed up against the smaller boy. This... Wasn't good. Indecent thoughts of Kokichi flooded his mind, which he immediately tried to push away as the boy was sleeping (he wasn't) soundly next to him. Saihara carefully placed a hand on Ouma-kun's hip, tracing his fingers along the fabric of his pants, in some way, a distraction from his urges-- At least that's what he continued to tell himself.

Ouma-kun whined softly, making a sound that would have convinced anyone that he was on the cusp of waking up from his sleep and not actually fully awake. His acting was amazingly effective when he needed it to be. Shuichi was hesitant to move or say anything, knowing how the other absolutely despised being woken up for anything. Kokichi grabbed Shuichi's hand, pulling it over his torso instead and the detective almost flinched as he tried to scoot away to leave some distance in between them, but Ouma ground his hips back into him.

“Mmm...” he murmured in his faux sleep.

Saihara flinched uncomfortably at the feeling of his own throbbing erection straining against his slacks, which now felt far too tight for him. He realized that there was no way he'd be able to manage sleeping under these conditions. Kokichi was holding onto him while he continued teasing him, pressing his body against his cock which only seemed to beg for the contact-- There seemed to be no escape for him. Shuichi whined softly, eliciting a smirk from the smaller boy, though there was no way that Shuichi would have seen.

“Nnn, what's wrong, Saihara-chan?” Kokichi groaned softly. 

“Nothing. It's nothing.” Saihara insisted nervously, biting his bottom lip, as if that would somehow help him reign in control of himself.

Ouma rolled over to face Shuichi now, reaching up to brush the hair from his face, not hesitating to gaze into the other's eyes, immediately aware of his nervous demeanor. “Oh? Are you sure?”

“I'm sure, Ouma-kun.” he said, desperately hoping that the other would just drop it, though he was perfectly aware that would be far too good to be true. 

“You wouldn't happen to be _lying_ to me, would you? Because _something_ about you feels kinda off.” Kokichi said, glancing down at the bulge that was painfully apparent and on display.

“Erm, something like what?” Shuichi refused to acknowledge it, instead choosing to play dumb. It was clear that Ouma knew, but... It wasn't easy just openly admitting how turned on he was.

“Oh, you can't hide these things from me. But you know, my offer from before still stands.” Ouma offered nonchalantly, hoping to pique the detective's interest. 

His offer from before... _“Let me make you feel good~”_ Shuichi felt hot, now painfully aware of how much his erection was straining against his slacks. _Was he seriously considering taking Kokichi up on his offer?_ Saihara took in a shaky breath, looking into Ouma-kun's eyes, noticing just how sincere the expression on the other's face was. Even still, the detective was apprehensive, finding himself doubting that this was the right thing or even what he needed, despite his body's protests. “I don't think-” Shuichi began.

“Exactly. You don't have to think about anything. Just let me make it all better.” Ouma interrupted, taking the opportunity to break through the detective's last bit of self-control, which he found easy enough with the right seductive tone and captivating gaze that Shuichi had proven himself to be weak to. Kokichi grazed his fingers along Shuichi's chest, idly toying with the thick fabric of his jacket.

At this point, Shuichi found himself at a complete loss for words-- He was far too wound up to resist Ouma's advances and listen to his own reasoning, giving into his own urges. It couldn't possibly be that bad if he was thinking about it _this_ much. He watched as Kokichi inched down in between his legs in the bed, unbuttoning Saihara's pants, unable to ignore the bulge tenting in his pants. He unzipped his fly, sliding the material down before doing the same for his boxers, freeing his cock from its fabric restraint. Ouma wasted no time in grabbing his length, listlessly stroking him up and down. He kissed the tip, teasing him with his tongue, swirling it over his slit.

“Ouma-kun...” Shuichi moaned, watching the boy's every move. He was completely captivated by Kokichi, who seemed to be fixated on him-- Just making him feel good without any regard for anything else, his own needs included. Before today, Saihara was under the impression that Ouma was more of a selfish person, but he'd proven himself to actually care about Shuichi and it made him feel some kind of strange affection for the boy that he had trouble justifying or rationalizing with himself.

Ouma said nothing, taking the head of his cock in past his lips before sliding his length down his throat, taking in all of Saihara entirely. Kokichi's eyes watered slightly from the intrusion, pulling out to lick a wet stripe from his balls to the tip of his cock. He spit on the head before taking his full length one more time, until he pulled away again, taking Shuichi by the hands and leading him on his feet to the floor. Saihara stepped out of his pants and underwear, awkwardly tripping before removing them altogether. The smaller boy stifled a laugh at the detective's uncoordinated nature before he dropped to his knees in front of the blue haired boy, looking up at him from the floor where he was kneeling. 

“Go ahead. You can fuck my mouth if you want~”

Saihara was dazed by the suggestive invitation, but was somehow intrigued at the same time. Observing Kokichi from this position on the floor like this was almost too much for him to handle, sparking something deep inside of him. At the same time, he felt apprehensive about the proposition. “I'm not sure about this...”

“Here.” Kokichi reached for Shuichi's hands, weaving the other's fingers through his purple locks before taking his cock back into his mouth. He stayed completely motionless, lips wrapped around Saihara's length, as if he was waiting for Saihara to do something-- To take initiative.

If Ouma-kun insisted he was going to do this, the least he could do was try, he reasoned with himself. The detective reluctantly pulled back slowly before pushing forward into Ouma's mouth. It felt so unbelievably hot and wet and his lips were so soft around his shaft. Shuichi closed his eyes trying to compose himself, gently holding onto the boy's hair, taking in the feeling of being inside his mouth. It only took a few shallow thrusts before something came over him. He wasn't sure what, but he found himself suddenly gripping Kokichi's hair a little tighter now, pulling him for leverage as he drove his hips forward, deeper now as the smaller boy slightly choked on his cock. 

He almost felt guilty thinking about it, but something inside him felt good seeing Kokichi take him like this. As if he deserved it after the absolute hell he had put him through. He shook away his apprehension, focusing on himself now and what made _him_ feel good-- Which happened to be watching Kokichi choke on his length as he thrust into him. And while Saihara didn't know it, if this is what it took for Shuichi to forgive him, Ouma would gladly allow him to be a little rough with him like this.

Saihara fucked his mouth, almost vindictively, pulling and gripping his hair tightly, taking in the boy's soft whines and the sloppy sounds that his cock made every time he drove his hips forward into him. He was completely at a loss as to how this ended up being such a turn on for him, but he was undoubtedly enjoying seeing Ouma-kun submit to him like this, who only looked up at him with a pleading look. 

Ouma reached up to grab onto Saihara's hips to steady himself as he forced himself into him, eyes watering as his cock gagged him. And he was more than surprised himself to see Shuichi acting so dominant and forceful with him, but couldn't ignore his own erection pressing against his pants, aching from the lack of physical contact and overwhelming desire to be touched. As much as Kokichi wanted to get himself off, he opted to fix his attention on Saihara, convinced that this is what the detective needed to move past their argument-- And that was good enough for him.

Of course Ouma couldn't speak right now, but Shuichi found himself slightly ashamed again that he was partially enjoying the reprieve from Kokichi's snark and jokes. It seemed it only took a hard cock to shut him up, which could come in handy in the future if he needed it. He looked down at the other, who was taking his full length amazingly well on every thrust and Shuichi felt close at the sight of him alone, saliva trickling from Kokichi's mouth and tears welling up in his eyes. 

He felt like the pleasure inside him had built up to a peak, coiled up inside him, everything on the cusp of spiraling out of his control. He knew he was definitely about to cum. Pulling out, he observed the trail of saliva connecting him to Kokichi's mouth, watching it break as they separated, the smaller boy gasping for air as if he hadn't taken a single breath the entire time. Shuichi desperately pumped himself for only a few seconds until it was all too much and he finally came in thick bursts onto Ouma-kun's face, leaving strands in his bangs and over one closed eye. Shuichi engraved the image into his memory forever before Kokichi wiped the cum away with the back of his hand, saying nothing. 

Saihara buckled onto the mattress, catching his breath, feeling exhausted as the reality set in and he realized that he was definitely caught in _some_ kind of moment before... He felt the guilt finally hit him head-on, out of nowhere, as if maybe he was too rough with Ouma until the boy chimed in cheerfully.

“Wowww, Saihara-chan. That was... Kinda intense. I guess you really _are_ into that kinky, rough stuff!” he blushed faintly.

“I... I don't know what came over me.” Shuichi stammered, feeling somewhat ashamed, like he undeniably lost control of himself with no legitimate excuses to defend his actions.

“You really put me in my place, huh?” Kokichi giggled, seemingly unfazed by Saihara's unexpected dominant behavior.

Shuichi wasn't sure how he could joke about it, but he was relieved. Maybe it was some form of self-preservation on Kokichi's part, unless he really did somehow enjoy it himself, which he wouldn't rule out either.

Kokichi hopped up from the floor onto his feet, heading for the bathroom, leaving the door open as Shuichi sat on the edge of his bed, listening to nothing but the sound of the faucet running as Ouma washed his face and rinsed the cum from his hair. 

He absolutely hated the feeling of cum in his hair. It felt nearly impossible to wash out entirely without a shower. Of course he wouldn't tell Shuichi this because it's not like it mattered now anyway. He fidgeted uncomfortably, the feeling of his cock begging for release starting to overwhelm him. Kokichi squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to collect himself, inhaling a shaky breath, as if he'd be able to somehow will his erection away. After only a few moments, he walked back over to the bed where Shuichi sat, now fully clothed. Ouma sat next to him, finding it difficult to ignore his own erection that was still lingering. He squirmed slightly next to the other, wondering if he would notice it too.

Shuichi glanced his way, Ouma smiling at him brightly, clearly not upset at all, which was a relief to the detective. Unless he was hiding it, though Saihara couldn't see Kokichi holding a grudge against him for his actions. Shuichi really just wanted to talk to him and find out exactly what he was thinking.

“Erm,” Saihara began, unsure of exactly what to say, just that he needed to say something. 

Ouma didn't quite hate the silence, despite how boring it was compared to a conversation. He looked at Shuichi expectantly. 

“Did you want to talk about things?” Shuichi asked, glancing at Kokichi, though finding it difficult to look him in the eyes for some reason.

Kokichi wasn't sure what was left to say, feeling certain that things were okay between them now after their moment of intimacy. He was left looking inquisitively about the matter, as if he was considering what could be said. Finally he spoke. “Are you still mad at me?”

“I wasn't ever really _mad_ , exactly...” Saihara tried to explain, shifting uncomfortably on the bed as Kokichi watched him carefully.

“You don't have to lie to me.” Ouma replied, calling him out. He hated being lied to and while he hated liars, he could never hate Shuichi for it.

“I- I'm not upset anymore, no. Are you going to hurt me again?” he asked point blank.

Kokichi felt daggers in his chest from the directness of the question. “N-no.” he lied. He was so selfish, he knew he couldn't promise that, but what else was he supposed to say after only just patching things up with Shuichi? He questioned why it was even so important to him when he knew in the end it wouldn't matter and Shuichi would hate him in the end anyway... But for right now, he couldn't handle seeing Saihara upset with him and if it meant lying to him, then he had to.

“Are you going to keep lying to me?” Shuichi continued.

“I'll never stop lying and that's the truth. I won't change that for anyone.” he said quietly, looking down at his feet. He could only hope that Saihara would accept his answer.

“I don't want you to change. But maybe you can try to be a little more honest too sometimes.” Shuichi suggested, now scanning the boy's expression for an indication of how he may be feeling, finding that his expression seemed contemplative, as if he were deep in thought.

Ouma hadn't thought about it like that. Maybe he could try to not lie about the important things-- Well aside from his mastermind plan, which was obviously something huge that he would need to lie about, but besides that... “I'll be honest with you too sometimes, sure.” 

There was one major lie he had told Saihara that was weighing on him that he could come clean about. He wasn't sure if now was the time but since he _had_ just agreed to be honest about things, maybe he should just say it. His stomach was in knots at the thought of even bringing it up at all. He clenched his fists, realizing that this was probably a huge mistake that would complicate things, but he wanted to tell him. And before he knew it, he was already speaking.

“There's something important that I lied to you about that I need to clear up.” he looked over at the other, who was already watching him intently. Kokichi took a shallow breath, readying himself, as he continued to meet Shuichi's gaze with a sincere focus.

“W-what is it?” Saihara asked, feeling the overwhelming anxiety beginning to get the better with him as he couldn't help but to fidget where he sat. If Kokichi thought it was a big deal, it must be something significant. He cast his eyes downward, finding it suddenly difficult to keep his eyes on the other.

“Look at me.” and Saihara did immediately, locking his gaze onto Kokichi's in desperate anticipation of the boy's next words. “When I said I liked you... That was a lie.”

Shuichi felt a stabbing feeling throughout his core as his blood seemed to run cold hearing the words. He pulled away, but Ouma grabbed his hands, holding him steady. “Y-you-” Shuichi stammered anxiously, unsure of what he should say, finding himself unable to look at the leader at all at this point. He could only feel used, like this whole time he was just some game to Kokichi.

“Because I love you, Shuichi.”

_What?_ He felt his emotions going haywire now before being filled with a warmth through his chest, the coldness from before dispersing. He looked into Ouma-kun's violet eyes, searching for the truth and he found nothing but resolve and sincerity on his face. Ouma didn't laugh or smile, he just waited patiently for the detective to collect himself after his outburst. It felt like ages had passed, but it was realistically only seconds as they sat together in the silence of the room, Kokichi holding Shuichi's hands in his own. Shuichi waited for him to say it was a lie and to laugh it off, but he never did. “Kokichi... I-” he was stunned.

“You don't have to say anything.” Kokichi quickly added before Shuichi could say another word. “I know you don't feel the same way, and that's alright!” he knew that his feelings would be one-sided and he'd already come to terms with that. Kokichi only wanted to tell Saihara how he felt, as if that would somehow make things better when he would reveal his plan to the boy... But in the back of his mind, he wondered if he'd maybe somehow made things worse. He couldn't worry about that now. What's done was done.

Shuichi suddenly felt flooded with emotions. _He loved him?_ After all of this. He was feeling apprehensive, unsure of how he felt in return. He didn't know if he reciprocated his feelings, but he did forgive Ouma for what had happened between them. It honestly didn't matter to him what they had gone through before. If anything, everything they'd gone through had only brought them closer and Ouma's confession was a testament to that. The last thing that Saihara wanted was to hurt him or be the cause of pain for him. Shuichi realized that he would do anything for Ouma-- Anything to make him happy, despite the fact that Kokichi had done horrible things to him. He didn't care, he just wanted to be with the boy regardless of how anyone else felt about him. It wasn't rational and he didn't fully understand it, but it was the truth. If that was anything at all, it must be love.

“You're wrong, Ouma-kun.” he finally spoke, voice low.

“Huh?” Kokichi looked over, confused by Shuichi suddenly speaking up after he seemed to be reflecting to himself for some time.

“I... I love you too.” saying it out loud only affirmed it to him.

Ouma smiled, blushing at his confession. He couldn't believe that things were going this way. The last thing he expected was for Saihara to feel the same way about him. Kokichi knew he wasn't exactly innocent in all of this, considering how he'd acted in the past... But that was the past, after all! He didn't have to worry about any of that or the _future_ right now. He could live in the present and that made him feel a sense of relief. “Really, Mister Detective? How long did it take you to figure it out?” he teased. 

Shuichi shut him up with a kiss that Kokichi promptly returned. Saihara gently held onto the boy's jacket, gripping the fabric as they took their time, exchanging soft, slow kisses as things once again heated up between the two of them. 

“You never, ahh,” Shuichi started, searching for the words he was looking for. “you never managed to...” he trailed off, blushing furiously. He still struggled to put certain vulgarities into words. It just felt very improper coming from his mouth.

Ouma looked on confused, unsure of where Saihara was going with this. “Just say it.”

He sucked in a breath of air, readying himself. “I mean to say that you never _got off_ again a second time...” his face only turned redder as Ouma giggled at his embarrassment. 

“I'm _very_ aware of that.” he sighed with a half smile.

“Err, well... Do you want to?” Shuichi offered timidly. 

“Aah, well, of course I do...” Ouma trailed off. “I just don't want you to be too exhausted after today, y'know? Remember, I love you and all, so that means I actually care about you.” he grinned.

Hearing Ouma so casually say that he loved him made his chest feel tight, in a good way, of course. Everything seemed a bit too good to be true, honestly. “I want to take care of you.” Shuichi insisted.

“But what if you get me off, but then it turns you on so much your dick gets hard and then I have to make you cum again and we get stuck in an endless loop of jerking each other off?!” Ouma eyes were lit up excitedly, as if the thought of that ridiculous scenario somehow delighted him.

Shuichi stared at Kokichi blankly for a second before breaking out into a short fit of laughter at the outrageous thought. “I don't think I could get it up again today if I had to, to be honest.”

“I'm not so sure about that.” Ouma chimed in. “You're still young, so you have a ton of stamina. What's the most you've jerked off in one day?” he asked enthusiastically.

“Ahh, I don't know. It wasn't all back to back though.”

“I did it seven times once. I was suuuper horny that day.” he proclaimed proudly.

Shuichi wasn't sure it was something he should be bragging about, feeling somewhat perplexed at the smaller boy's ability to overshare at times.

“A-anyway!” Saihara said, changing the subject, moving down to the floor between Ouma's legs. “I'm going to get started. This is my first time doing this.” he reminded him.

“Oh, sucking dick? You can say it, you know.”

Shuichi blushed, finding Ouma's bluntness to be a little bit crass, though somehow it suited him. “R-right.”

“Wowww, this is so exciting!” Kokichi cheered from his position on the bed.

Saihara hesitated, his nerves hitting him at once. “What if it's not good?” he asked suddenly, looking up towards Kokichi for some kind of reassurance.

“It's supposed to suck... Get it?! It's a joke.”

Shuichi forced an awkward laugh.

“Ugh.” Kokichi groaned, clearly irked that Shuichi obviously couldn't appreciate his humor. “Just don't bite me and it'll be fine, I promise.” 

Kokichi eagerly waited for Shuichi to continue. Even the clattering metallic sound Ouma's belt buckle made as Saihara unfastened it contributed to his building excitement. The blue haired boy managed to unclasp his pants next, removing them from his slender frame and it was apparent that Ouma was already fairly worked up after being teased all evening.

His breathing heightened as Shuichi gently pulled his cock from his boxer briefs, the anticipation of experiencing Saihara's mouth building. He watched as the other jerked him off, slowly to start, a bead of precum already beginning to form at the tip from his touch. And even though it was just a handjob, god, it felt amazing being touched like this after patiently waiting all evening for it. Knowing that this was the first time Shuichi had done this with another guy was only adding to the experience. In fact, _because_ it was Shuichi touching him meant that it was going to be amazing.

Shuichi was clearly nervous to use his mouth, as he was hesitating and drawing out just how long he was pumping the other's length with his hand. Finally, he shyly moved his head closer to Ouma's cock, opening his mouth apprehensively before taking the tip past his lips, drawing a soft hum from the smaller boy. It was an odd sensation to have the other in his mouth, but he found himself wanting to try his best to make him feel good.

Ouma loved just how gingerly Saihara was going about it, as if he was afraid to hurt him or do something wrong. He wondered if he should give him some kind of direction or leave him to his work, opting to let the boy decide how to handle it. That definitely seemed way less boring than ordering him around and telling him what he liked. 

Shuichi managed to work Ouma's cock into his mouth, unable to take his full length in fear of gagging on it, feeling his shaft threatening the back of his throat as he sucked him off. He wasn't exactly sure how Kokichi had managed to do this to him so effortlessly, but it was actually pretty impressive now that it was put into perspective for him. Shuichi still felt a little guilty for how roughly he'd taken Kokichi, but at least now he could try to make it up to the other.

Kokichi was patiently watching Saihara with a captivated look on his face. The other glanced up at him occasionally, but struggled to maintain eye contact, feeling as though his face was most definitely turning red being observed so closely like this. Even so, Shuichi picked up the pace, bobbing his head faster up and down Kokichi's length. He wished that he could have done some of the tricks that Ouma-kun had done to him with his tongue, but he didn't even know where to begin with any of that and worried about his own inexperience along with any judgment from the leader. He could hear the smaller boy's moans and soft panting all the same, so he could only assume that he must be doing something right, trying to use those sounds as a sort of cue for him to go off of.

“Shuichi, I don't know how long I'm gonna last.” he warned, the buildup of desperately wanting to cum all evening weighing on him. “You're doing such a good job.” he said gruffly, placing a hand on Shuichi's head to gently guide him down his length. 

Saihara adored anytime that he received affirmations from Kokichi and it only inspired him to do the best job that he was capable of. The detective slid down farther on the boy's cock, immediately gagging on his length before jerking away from him entirely, feeling inadequate for trying anything other than what was working for him before.

“Are you alright?” Ouma asked, almost reflexively, though he knew that he was fine.

Shuichi nodded with a soft hum, pushing past his insecurities and getting right back to it, taking Kokichi's cock back into his mouth again.

“Oh, what a good boy you are~” Kokichi moaned under his breath, appreciating just how committed the taller boy was to getting him off. “Your little, virgin mouth feels so nice around my cock, Shuichi.”

“Mmhm...” Shuichi hummed as he continued, taking in Kokichi's words as motivation that he was doing something right. He remembered that when Ouma had sucked him off, he played with his balls and that felt really nice-- Maybe he could try something like that for the boy. He used his hand to gently massage his, Kokichi's breath hitching from the unexpected, sudden touch and the stimulation happening simultaneously.

He felt more than on edge now as Saihara worked to swallow his length, overwhelmed as he watched the boy get him off. “Shuichi, I'm gonna cum.” he whimpered, the feeling becoming too much to handle now.

Shuichi stroked his thigh gently, as if to say 'okay', staying focused on Ouma's cock instead of taking a break to answer him.

“S-Shuichi, where should I cum?” he asked, sounding only slightly panicked as if he wasn't sure if it would be acceptable to cum in the taller boy's mouth for the first time, even if he personally felt that Saihara could handle it.

Shuichi just made some incoherent sound, lips wrapped around his length still, though Ouma had no idea what he was trying to communicate. _Fuck it, in his mouth it is._ “I'm, aah, I'm cumming-!” he whined desperately, voice strained as he gave into the release.

The feeling of his seed filling his mouth and hitting the back of his throat was beyond bizarre and caught Shuichi completely off guard, causing him to slightly choke, cum dribbling from his mouth as he attempted to swallow, failing slightly. He was left with a stream of fluid running down his chin. Shuichi opened his mouth to show Kokichi that he had swallowed it all otherwise.

Ouma giggled madly suddenly, unable to contain himself. “I _so_ called it when I said you watch a ton of porn. Where else did you learn that from, you dirty boy?”

Shuichi blushed deeply from the accusation. “M-maybe I did, but I don't watch a ton of it!” he argued, turning his head away from the other indignantly.

“Just calling it like I see it~” Kokichi sang teasingly, helping the detective to his feet.

“Oh, whatever...” Saihara narrowed his eyes, heading off to go wipe his face in the bathroom. The taste of cum on his tongue suddenly registered with him. It wasn't something he was sure he could get used to, though it wasn't awful. And it's Kokichi's, so he definitely didn't mind it _that_ much.

When Saihara returned to the bedroom, Ouma-kun was fiddling with his belt, fastening the clasp on it, apparently already dressed for the most part.

“So do you still want to spend the night?” Shuichi asked nervously, fidgeting with his sleeve. He wasn't sure if Kokichi would be interested and he didn't want to pressure him to stay, even though it would be nice to have him over.

“Oh... Should I have stayed undressed then if we're going to bed?” Kokichi questioned, holding his jacket in his hands hesitantly. 

“Sorry, that probably would have been best.”

The purple haired boy sighed, setting his jacket on Saihara's dresser as he began to undress now.

“I, um, have something you can wear to bed if you'd like.” Shuichi offered, walking over to his closet.

“Yeah! I wanna wear your clothes! I'm sure they'll fit me just fine too since we're totally the same height and size.” he said facetiously with a smile as he continued undressing down to his underwear, placing his discarded clothing in a messy pile on the boy's dresser.

Saihara quickly found a plain t-shirt for the boy to wear in his meticulously organized closet. “Here.” he offered, handing the shirt directly to Ouma who immediately put it on over his naked torso. It was a bit too large for him, but it fit him well enough and was better than nothing.

“Do I look adorable in your clothes~?” Ouma asked, smiling cutely. He was clearly fishing for compliments.

“Yeah, you really do.” Shuichi said, admiring the boy before he undressed himself. He realized that Ouma's eyes were glued on him as indiscreetly as he could have possibly managed.

“What a nice show you're putting on for me right now.” he crooned, eyeing the other up and down as Saihara unzipped his pants. “Oooh, Shu-i-chiii~ Do a little spin!” he giggled wildly, clearly amused with his own sense of humor.

Shuichi snickered with him as he slipped a t-shirt on and climbed into bed with the other, Ouma immediately snuggling up next to the boy contentedly. “Wowww,” Kokichi started, “this is kinda like a sleepover... How boring is that?!” he sounded almost offended at the thought of sleepovers all together.

“Um- Uhhh...” Shuichi faltered, completely unsure of what he should say in response to the remark.

“It's a lie~ ahah, it's actually pretty fun!” Ouma said excitedly, secretly proud that he got Saihara yet again. _Man, he was so gullible sometimes._ It was incredible how he was so 50/50 with picking out his lies from truths.

Saihara smiled softly, shaking his head. Kokichi really did have to find a way to slip lies into their conversations, even now. Though he was relieved it was something small like this and not something remarkably important. He wasn't sure if he could handle another drastic lie from the boy. He rest his head against Ouma's, closing his eyes momentarily. As much as he wanted to fall asleep peacefully, he had a lot on his mind that he wanted to talk about still.

“What's up, Shuichi? Why'd you get so quiet all of a sudden?”

“Oh, I just have some things on my mind, that's all.” Shuichi replied candidly, somehow wondering how he'd broach the topic.

“Spill it then. We have all the time in the-”

The horrible sound of the nighttime announcement chimed in, interrupting Kokichi. They stayed silent through it-- It was an awful reminder of exactly where they were. Finally, it ended.

“A-anyway,” Kokichi continued, “go ahead and say whatcha need to.” he finished.

Shuichi had definitely picked up on his rephrasing of whatever sentence he was originally going to say, but he chose to not question it. He continued, “Are we going to keep things between us a secret?” he was nervous to ask the question, but had managed to do so without stammering or freezing up once.

Kokichi paused, looking deep in thought. “I don't think that's possible. People are going to see us together, you know. Everyone here's dumb, but they're not that dumb.” he sighed, slowly moving his hand down to find Shuichi's, placing his on top of Saihara's as some sign of affection for the boy.

Shuichi hummed, only slightly disheartened. “Maybe we can be kind of discreet about how we do things. I'll still call you Ouma-kun in public and you can call me Saihara.”

“Saihara-chan.” Ouma quickly corrected.

“R-right.” Shuichi nodded in agreement.

“But...” Kokichi started. “But... But I hate it!” he whined loudly. “That's awful, Shuichi! I wanna show you off and make everyone jealous that you're my hot piece of ass that I get to-”

“K-Kokichi!” the detective chided him before he could finish his sentence.

“Just kidding, nishishi~ You do have a point though. It's probably safer to keep things that way in public.” he sighed, clearly unsatisfied with the conclusion they had come to. “Besiiides, you gotta pretend we're not together so you can patch things up with those idi- w-with your friends...” he sounded only slightly bitter, though Saihara was legitimately impressed he stopped himself from insulting Momota and Harukawa.

“Right,” he grumbled, “thank you.”

“So... If we're gonna pretend to not be completely in love, I guess we can't spend a ton of time together...” Kokichi pouted, feeling legitimately frustrated by Saihara's suggestion, even if he knew it was for the best.

“I honestly don't know, Kokichi. We'll make it work somehow.” Shuichi leaned into the boy.

“That's a cliché, bullshit answer.” he said matter-of-factly. It was annoying to him that Saihara didn't have a real solution for this. He just had to roll with things with no definitive answer to how they were going to get through this. He tried not to think about his own plan to end the killing game, remembering that it wouldn't matter in the end anyway. He didn't want to think about any of that right now, not when Saihara admitted that he had actual feelings for him. 

“But it's the only answer I have right now. I'm asking you to trust me.”

“I... I do trust you.” he had no reason to not trust Saihara at this point, as frightening as it was to trust _anyone_ in this horrible fucking place.

Shuichi put his arm around Ouma, pulling him in. “I love you, you know.”

Kokichi closed his eyes. It was so hard to accept Shuichi's confession after everything he had subjected the detective to-- And what he had planned even still. Realistically, he probably didn't deserve someone like him, but he was truly glad that his feelings didn't have to go unrequited. “Love you, Shuichi.” he said sleepily. 

Saihara could recognize how tired he sounded. “Let's go to sleep. It's been such a long day.” the boy found himself inadvertently yawning.

“Mmhm, you're right.” Kokichi agreed, sweetly giving Shuichi a kiss on his cheek, before the two drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I've ever written a love confession, ahah, never doing that again! Be back in a couple of days with the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Shuichi woke up to the unfortunate sound of the morning announcement playing on the monitor in his room. Despite hearing it daily, he wasn't sure he would ever get used to being woken up like this. The detective sat up in bed, turning his attention towards Kokichi, who was still seemingly fast asleep, somehow managing to sleepily grab a pillow and pulling it over his head to muffle the noise with an irritated grumble and string of unintelligible words. 

Ouma felt as if it was some kind of torture being woken up every morning by the announcement and the smaller boy routinely skipped breakfast to make up for his lost sleep. It wasn't as if he cared for seeing everyone anyways. The Ultimate Supreme Leader didn't need the company... Not when no one really liked him or wanted him around in the first place. Well, except for Saihara, but that was only recently anyways.

Shuichi made the decision to let him sleep, instead getting up quietly to go take a quick shower. He didn't want to disturb Ouma's sleep, at least not yet. He walked into the bathroom, closing the door gently behind him, hoping that the sound of the shower wouldn't be a disruption and wake the boy. He turned on the faucet to warm the cool water and began getting undressed, noticing the hickey that Kokichi had given him looking quite visible. Saihara groaned softly upon further inspection of the mark, glaringly obvious against his pale skin. There was just no way the collar of his jacket was going to cover this. Maybe no one would notice though... _Yeah, right._

He stepped into the shower, playing yesterday's events over again in his mind with just how chaotic everything had been. First, he hooked up with Ouma-kun seemingly out of nowhere and then they had a catastrophic fight that somehow led to each of them confessing their love to one another. It almost felt like a bizarre dream, going through all of this and ending up where they were now despite how things were in the past. In fact, before, Shuichi was certain that he would have had as little as possible to do with Ouma-kun if he could have helped it. After the last class trial, he had even told the smaller boy that he was all alone, implying that he didn't have anyone here that would ever support him. But now... He couldn't deny that things felt much better that they were where they currently are, regardless of the underlying tension between Kokichi and the others. He just needed to make things right with Momota-kun and Harukawa-san and everything would be perfect. Well, aside from the fact that they were trapped here playing this terrible 'game'.

The water and soap washing over his body was soothing and it was nice to finally feel clean. Apparently, you can only have so much sex without feeling a little dirty anyway. Saihara felt like he could stay in the shower forever sometimes. It was nice to be able to think and reflect on things in peace, but he didn't want to leave Ouma alone in his room for too long, even if he was asleep. Besides, he probably needed to head to the dining hall to meet with Maki and Kaito if he wanted to get a chance to talk with them sooner than later. He didn't want Momota to think he was avoiding him or something, fearing that could possibly make the situation worse than it already was.

Saihara shut the faucet, stepping out of the shower, immediately wrapping a towel around his waist. The cool air made him shiver and he just wanted to get dressed as fast as possible now. The detective walked back into the room where Ouma was still fast asleep in his bed. He was lying on the mattress on his stomach, half under the covers with his head still under the pillow. Shuichi took note of the hints of purple locks of hair peeking out from the pillow and smiled at how ridiculously he slept, though he did find it cute at the same time.

He opened his closet, picking out a clean uniform to wear. Much like everyone else that was trapped here, all his clothes were the exact same, for the most part. Saihara quickly got dressed in his uniform before sitting on the edge of the bed next to Kokichi, contemplating whether or not he should wake him or not. It would be a lie if he wasn't a bit nervous to do so after he'd witnessed the smaller boy react poorly to being woken up mid-sleep. He definitely didn't want another rehash of their fight, but the detective didn't want to just disappear leaving him alone in his room. He'd take his chances.

“Kokichi.” Shuichi said softly, placing a hand on Ouma's lower back, gently rubbing small circles against the soft fabric of the t-shirt.

“Nnn,” he whined in protest. “I don't wanna...”

Saihara wasn't sure if he was fully awake yet, but he continued, “I'm going to the dining hall. Would you like to come with me?” the taller boy offered. He'd hoped that Ouma-kun was awake enough to be listening to him in the very least.

Ouma gasped suddenly, abruptly sitting up in bed, tossing the blanket off him quickly with a confused and somewhat frightened expression on his face, eyes frantically scanning the room before stopping on Shuichi. Saihara could only assume that he'd woken up now and forgotten where he was perhaps. But the detective had definitely never seen him look this vulnerable before and all he wanted to do was help him relax and feel at ease.

“It's okay.” Shuichi comforted him with the most reassuring tone he could muster, touching his shoulder in an attempt to relax him. The leader seemed to calm down instantly, expression softening as if he realized that it was alright, much more aware of who he was talking to. Shuichi continued now that Ouma seemed fully cognizant and definitely awake. “Do you want to come with me to get breakfast?”

Kokichi stared blankly at him in silence for a few seconds before finally replying groggily, “... Sure...” he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

It was evident to Saihara that Ouma absolutely had no desire to accompany him and that was okay-- Shuichi honestly didn't expect him to come with him, he was mostly offering to be polite. He definitely didn't want to force him to go with him, especially considering how tense things were among Kokichi and the others. “You don't have to.” Saihara smiled fondly at the smaller boy. 

“Oh... That's great because I was lying. Can I go back to sleep?”

“Of course.” Shuichi kissed him on the forehead, actually relieved at how much better he was taking being woken up this time around. Well, Ouma did say he wasn't going to do anything to hurt him again, so it made sense that he would be more patient about being woken up in the very least.

“Thanks.” Kokichi murmured before collapsing over the blanket and immediately falling back asleep.

Saihara had no idea how he was so tired all the time, but he couldn't help but to smile all the same. He stood there for a moment, watching Kokichi before he stepped out of his room to the main dorms. Shuichi locked his door before walking towards the dining hall. As he head off in that direction, he wondered how things were going to go with Kaito and Maki. The detective knew that when he talked with Ouma, they discussed lying with everyone about their relationship, but he just wasn't sure that he could lie to _them_. He hoped that Kokichi would understand why he couldn't do that.

And besides, if Momota-kun was still mad at him from yesterday's events on top of his apparent grudge from the recent class trial, was lying really the best thing to do? Kaito really did seem disappointed in him and Saihara could only dread their upcoming conversation. Lost in his thoughts, it didn't take long before he'd arrived in front of the dining hall's large double doors. Shuichi felt his anxiety building at the thought of entering, but it was really now or never. He pushed the door open, stepping inside and taking note that most everyone that was still alive was here, which was pretty standard for this time of the day.

He greeted his other friends amiably, though he wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone except for Kaito and Maki. Saihara scanned the room looking for them before spotting them sitting in the corner. He walked over hesitantly, his nerves getting the better of him, completely unsure of how things were going to go, running through the things he would say as he approached them.

“Guys...” he said meekly, standing by, waiting to be acknowledged.

Both Momota and Harukawa looked his way, though only Maki returned the greeting, Kaito shooting him a cold, annoyed glance instead. Saying nothing, Kaito abruptly stood and left, leaving Shuichi and Maki alone at the table. It was a little troubling that Momota-kun seemed to want nothing to do with him now, but Shuichi could only hope that Maki would have answers for him. He sat down across from her.

“I guess Momota-kun told you everything.” he averted his gaze, somehow feeling ashamed that everyone seemed to know about his personal life like it was nothing.

“He did.” she replied plainly.

Shuichi couldn't be mad about it. He realized that Kaito was frustrated and had no one else except for Harukawa to discuss things with. He continued, “Is he really upset with me?” feeling anxious at the thought of potentially losing Momota as a friend over this.

She glanced at the bruise on Saihara's neck, an irritated expression flashing on her face and Shuichi instinctively moved his hand to cover it as if that would somehow distract her from the mark. He prayed she wouldn't ask questions about it. 

“... He's disappointed that you have no respect for yourself.” Harukawa informed the detective straightforwardly. 

Shuichi wondered if that was somehow a personal jab at him coming from Maki regarding his hickey... The words only somewhat hurt, though Saihara found himself flinching at the harshness of it all. “That's... That's not true.” he insisted. _What else could he say to defend himself?_ He realized that pretty much everyone hated Ouma-kun, but did it really mean that he didn't have any respect for himself because he chose to actually get to know him?

“Really? Then why did you forgive _him_?” and her words cut through his instantly, leaving him with no real excuse. 

He knew he didn't have a good reason and even if he did, he wasn't sure that they would ever accept an explanation for feeling the way he did for Kokichi. “It's complicated.” Saihara explained, not knowing what else to say to her. _Was he going to be honest or lie about things?_ He knew he couldn't lie, that wasn't his thing, but at the same time he really didn't want to go into further detail. “It's just complicated.” he reiterated, before Maki even had the chance to respond.

“I can't say that I approve of your relationship... But if it makes you happy, then I'll support you.” she said begrudgingly before shooting an intimidating glance his way and he couldn't help but to return the eye contact as she continued, “ _You_ , Saihara. I will NEVER have any respect for Ouma.”

It hurt him to hear that. He at least wanted them to be cordial with one another, but he supposed he couldn't come to expect that at this point when Kokichi had antagonized her personally a fair bit and he most definitely knew how Harukawa felt about the boy. Besides, it wasn't like anyone really understood Ouma-kun after most of the things he'd done. Shuichi even questioned how _he_ had forgiven the other for some of his transgressions, like cruelly manipulating Gonta-kun into killing Iruma-san and then having the nerve to laugh and say he felt nothing after Gokuhara was punished... He didn't want to think about it. _Was that even the same Ouma that he knew?_

“I understand... And thank you, Harukawa-san.” Shuichi said, looking down at the table nervously. He didn't want to second guess things with Kokichi now. Not when he finally felt the trust built up between the two of them. All he could do was believe that Ouma was being honest and sincere with him.

“About Momota... He'll come around.” she assured him.

“I hope so.” Saihara sighed dejectedly. That reminded him: He needed to ask her if she would keep this information to herself. Not that Harukawa was one for gossip, but aside from Kaito and Maki, he didn't exactly want the others knowing that he was involved with Kokichi if he could help it. “Oh, by the way. We're keeping things a secret between us, so maybe...”

She nodded curtly, standing up from the table. “See you around.”

Saihara watched as she walked out of the dining hall, leaving him sitting alone. It was fine with him, as he didn't usually eat breakfast anyway. In fact, the main reason he started coming to the dining hall for breakfast was initially because Momota-kun insisted he did. Besides, this just meant he could get back to check on Ouma sooner. He stood up, heading out of the large room to go back to the dormitory.

Walking back to his room, Saihara felt a sense of relief about his conversation with Maki. It seemed like things were starting to work out now considering he'd already gained one of his friends' support just by talking with her. Even though his confession wasn't quite well-received, he couldn't help but to feel like some of the guilt about keeping things a secret was alleviated just by opening up. Though he still needed to patch things up with Kaito... But then he suddenly found himself unable to stop thinking of what had happened with Miu's death... And Gonta's punishment. _Was it really okay to forgive Kokichi for this?_ He disregarded the thought entirely, unable to process it anymore. He loved Ouma-kun. And he had come to terms with forgiving him so it was only right to forgive him for everything, regardless of how he previously had thought he couldn't do so. Besides, Kokichi was changing. Saihara was convinced that he was helping to make him better, whether everyone else saw it or not was completely out of his hands.

Shuichi approached the door to his room, quietly opening it so as to not wake Ouma-kun. He stepped inside, looking over at his bed only to find that his room was empty now. He felt the disappointment wash over him, wishing that Kokichi would have still been there. Ouma's clothes were gone and the only sign he was ever there was the shirt Shuichi had lent the boy, sloppily tossed and unfolded on the even more disheveled sheets and blanket. He must have gone back to his room, probably to shower and change, but he didn't leave a note or anything for the detective to go off of...

He imagined asking Ouma why he didn't wait for him to return or use the notepad in his room to leave a message and the smaller boy joking about him being able to figure it out, while calling him 'Mister Detective' like he occasionally enjoyed doing. Shuichi smiled softly at the thought, picking up the shirt from his bed and placing it in his laundry basket before making the bed neatly. He liked things to be a little more orderly than the condition Kokichi had left his room in.

Saihara couldn't help but to worry all the same, feeling anxious that there was a chance something was wrong and Ouma-kun was upset with him for some reason. He seemed fine when he left for the dining hall, but... They _did_ already get into a pretty significant fight, so Saihara struggled to shake the thought. He could only hope that everything was okay and he was simply overthinking things and letting his nerves get the better of him.

He wanted to see Ouma again soon, but part of him was dreading it after they planned to pretend to only be casual acquaintances starting today. It pained the detective that they didn't even get a chance to have a real kiss goodbye before they had split up. And Saihara couldn't help but to worry about how exactly Kokichi was going to treat him now. He knew that things would be like they were before, but he was afraid that the smaller boy would be worse to him for some reason.

He couldn't stay here and worry about it though. Shuichi decided to use his free time to reflect on things and head out of the dorms for some fresh air. He left his room, locking the door behind him to explore the campus. Heading up to the school building, he felt a pit in his stomach when he noticed Momota-kun standing alone. Saihara almost stopped dead in his tracks, but the last thing he wanted was any more tension between the two of them. He approached Kaito timidly, only hoping that he would acknowledge his presence.

Kaito grabbed Shuichi's shoulder as he came into proximity, stopping him abruptly. “Hey, Sidekick.” Momota greeted him casually with a subtle smile.

“Momota-kun...” Saihara murmured, taken aback by his change in demeanor, though at the same time, feeling overjoyed that his friend was now making an effort to be friendly with him once again. He couldn't help but to wonder if Maki had talked with him or if he had a change of heart on his own, but it didn't matter either way, as long as he had a chance to make things right.

“I think we're overdue for a talk.” Kaito said, seemingly having no qualms about breaking through the tension they had only just recently been faced with.

“Y-yeah.” Shuichi agreed with a nod. He was hoping this would go something like how it went with Harukawa, but he still felt nervous that things would find a way to go wrong somehow. If the last couple of days were any indication towards the type of luck he had, it wasn't totally unreasonable to begin to expect the worst.

“I'll be straightforward with you. I don't like that you're with Ouma.” he furrowed his brows. “But I believe in you, so that means I gotta believe in the choices you make... If he does anything else to hurt you, I can't say I'm just gonna sit back and take it. You got it?” Kaito said, roughly patting Saihara on the shoulder as a sign of support.

Shuichi smiled brightly. Somehow, things really did seem to be going his way. Maybe it wasn't exactly ideal, but he couldn't ask for more than the support of his friends during this difficult and confusing time for him. He just had to count on Kokichi to do his part, though Shuichi really did believe in Ouma-kun to do his best and not start any more conflict with him or his friends.

“Saihara-chan~ Momota-chan~!” Kokichi cheerfully sang as he approached the pair, beaming pleasantly as if absolutely nothing had happened between any of them these past couple of days.

_Oh. This was a nightmare, actually. What was Kokichi thinking?_ Saihara shifted awkwardly where he stood, unsure if he should wait for the chaos to unfold or try to intervene now before it started. He had no idea what he could possibly say and before he had the chance to speak, Momota had apparently decided he'd already had enough of Ouma.

Kaito scoffed, visibly annoyed. “What do _you_ want?”

“Oh, nothing. Just wanted to stop by to say hi to my two best buddies, that's all.” Kokichi answered nonchalantly, as if Momota wasn't actually being completely unwelcoming to him.

“You may be 'friends' with Shuichi, but don't lump me in that category.” Kaito said callously, narrowing his eyes at Ouma, who he highly suspected was fucking with him.

“Yeah,” Kokichi giggled, “Saihara-chan and I are practically besties!” he said with a grin, looking over to Shuichi as if he expected some sort of affirmation from the boy, but he could only stand there in mild disbelief that Ouma had decided that NOW was a good time to do this.

“Yeah, I bet.” Kaito replied rudely, clearly perturbed with the smaller boy's presence.

“It's true! We hang out all the time.” Kokichi insisted with a nod.

This was getting awkward and fast. Shuichi's mind started racing, unsure what the best course of action was as he anxiously watched his friends' conversation begin to unfold into an argument.

“And you just love tormenting him.”

“Nope! I'd never do that to a good friend like Saihara-chan.” Ouma shook his head, wholly denying Kaito's accusation.

“Look,” Momota began, the frustration in his tone becoming more apparent, ”I know exactly what's going on between you two. Why do you have to lie all the goddamn time?!”

“It's not a lie.” Ouma insisted with an obvious fake and overly theatrical pout, looking as if he were on the brink of tears.

“You're in a relationship. I know that much.”

Kokichi scoffed, smirking now. “Why would someone like _me_ go for a guy like Saihara?” and he sounded almost like he was disgusted at the thought of it, as if he couldn't imagine being close like that with Shuichi, despite everything they'd experienced together.

The detective suddenly hated this idea-- Acting like they weren't together. He hated hearing Ouma talk about him like he didn't mean anything to him and it hurt, even though he realized that Kokichi was doing this to prevent suspicion of them being together. He couldn't exactly blame him since it was what they'd discussed, but at the same time, there were times in the past where Ouma-kun would flirt with him and Saihara would brush it off as nothing, though now he desperately missed it.

“It's okay, Kokichi. Momota-kun knows. You don't have to put on an act.”

Ouma frowned, looking somewhat displeased with Saihara for abruptly ending his charade. “That's boring. I wanted to pretend some more.” he whined, crossing his arms.

For a moment, Shuichi was afraid that Kokichi wasn't going to back down and break character and could only feel relieved that he stopped. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, considering how much he continued to convince himself that he trusted Ouma, despite all the signs that he still had some trust issues with the boy. He reminded himself that Kokichi _was_ making an effort though, and it made him feel warm inside at the thought of it, especially the way Ouma treated him when they spent time alone together.

“So, how much does he know?” Ouma asked indifferently, turning to face Shuichi and blocking Momota out of the conversation entirely.

“Hey! Don't talk about me like I'm not here!” Kaito demanded, visibly annoyed with the smaller boy.

Ouma turned to face Kaito now. “Oh, so sorry.” he apologized in arguably the most insincere way possible before continuing, “Forgettable background characters like you tend to get overlooked, don't they?” he said coolly, clearly trying to instigate something with Momota and get a reaction out of the boy, which he seemed to thrive off of.

“Ouma-kun!” Shuichi scolded him immediately, hoping to discourage his behavior before things escalated.

“What the hell did you say to me?!” Kaito snarled, taking a step aggressively towards Ouma.

Kokichi laughed uncontrollably at his outburst, completely ignoring Saihara's plea to him before finally speaking, “Ooh, what a tough guy. Gonna punch me again?” he grinned, narrowing his eyes at Kaito, as if he were challenging him. “Show me how strong and totally badass you are, Momota-chan!” 

“If that's what you're asking for, that's what you're gonna get!” Kaito was gritting his teeth at this point, looking as if he was actually being baited by Kokichi's taunting.

“Ouma-kun!” Shuichi snapped in another attempt to intervene. He took a step in between the two, hoping that they would stop bickering.

“WHY are you only blaming _me_ and not your idiot friend?!” Ouma growled, voice raised and honed in aggressively on the detective, no longer focused on Kaito. Shuichi took a step back, slightly startled by his outburst and lashing out at him so unexpectedly. Ouma had admittedly lost his cool and hadn't necessarily intended on yelling at Shuichi, but god damn it, he was so annoyed right now with everything, especially how Saihara was treating him like he was the one at fault when Kaito was just as responsible as he was.

“I- I'm sorry.” Shuichi apologized meekly.

“Don't apologize to this monster.” Kaito lectured him sternly before turning from Shuichi to Kokichi. “And don't call me an idiot!”

Ouma stared at Kaito dully. “Then use more than the two brain cells you have bumping around that empty skull of yours.”

“Please!” Shuichi said, voice strained, making yet another effort to silence the both of them. “I'm not asking you to be friends. I'm only asking that you be civil with one another.”

Kaito crossed his arms in a huff while Kokichi gazed at Shuichi with his brows knit together in concern, as if he were actually considering his feelings finally.

“For you, Shuichi.” Kaito said with a sigh. “I'll do my best.”

Annoyed, Ouma muttered, “This is stupid... Whatever, sure.” he turned from them both, resting a hand on his hip casually as he collected himself.

“ _This_ is the person you chose to be with?” Kaito spat incredulously, glaring at Kokichi.

Shuichi sighed, just waiting for Kokichi to inevitably return fire now. He was getting annoyed at their continuous arguing with no end to the conflict in sight. He had to make a decision-- If Ouma-kun wouldn't stop, then he'd find a way to make him stop for everyone's sake.

And as if on cue, Ouma continued, “Tch, you sound jealous. What are you-”

“Kokichi.” Shuichi said sternly, cutting the smaller boy off. “Maybe you should go.”

“You...” he said in mild disbelief, “You're seriously asking me to leave right now?” and while his tone had changed to one of hurt, Saihara found himself questioning just how much Kokichi really cared or if he was actually just playing up sounding wounded by suggesting he leave.

“You're trying to instigate a fight with Momota-kun.” Saihara explained, trying to keep to the facts without letting his personal feelings get the better of him.

“But he-” Kokichi started before abandoning the thought. There was no point when Shuichi wasn't ever going to pick his side. “Fine, I get it.” Ouma added solemnly, turning to walk back to the dorms. 

Saihara felt a pang of guilt sending him off, but he had only just mended things with Kaito and all... Maybe he was a little too harsh with him, actually. Shuichi desperately hoped this wasn't going to turn into another huge fight between them. He sighed, disheartened by the entire situation he'd found himself in, especially when things only just seemed to be going his way.

“Good riddance.” Kaito said loudly within earshot, causing Ouma to stop momentarily, though he continued without saying a word in the end. 

It hurt Shuichi to see him looking so gloomy. He would have to apologize later if Ouma-kun would give him the chance, that is. 

It didn't get past Kokichi at all that Shuichi didn't condemn Kaito's behavior during their conversation, especially as he was leaving... He shouldn't be surprised though. Shuichi seemed like the kind of guy that would always pick his friends first when it was between him and them. He'd done nothing this whole time but prove that. And Kokichi could only wonder now how much worse the impending falling out between them would be. Most likely any day now. He couldn't see Saihara understanding and accepting him claiming to be the mastermind, but it was his plan and no matter what, it was going to happen. As much as he'd like to tell Shuichi the truth too... He absolutely couldn't do that.

No matter how he looked at it, it seemed like Shuichi was going to end up getting hurt the most out of this. Ouma cursed softly to himself. Maybe he was acting on emotion when he confessed his love for the boy, but it really felt so right at the time. The fact that Saihara returned his feelings only made things worse and was the one thing that Kokichi wasn't counting on, not that he wasn't glad that Shuichi felt something for him. _Ugh, stupid Saihara-chan, going and making things more complicated than they needed to be._ Kokichi moped in his room, unsure if he even wanted to open the door for Saihara when he inevitably would decide to stop by and check on him. God, for someone who was a total pushover, Shuichi could be such a jerk sometimes...

Shuichi sighed, unable to look anywhere but down at the ground as he stood next to Kaito by the school building. “I know he can be a little overbearing at times...”

“That's an understatement.” Kaito huffed. “The fact that you chose the most awful, abrasive person here, Shuichi.”

“I know, I know.” Saihara said, wanting to end the conversation as his concern for Ouma only grew. He didn't seem like himself when he left. The boy didn't put up a fight or even get angry with him or anything-- He just seemed to accept the fact that Shuichi had told him he should leave. Maybe he really did hurt Kokichi's feelings. “He's making a lot of progress though.” Saihara continued.

“Do you call any of what just happened progress? Go ahead and say it with a straight face.”

“I, well...” Shuichi stammered. “He's trying. He was being friendly enough when he first came to talk to us... And he feels like he's bullied, Momota-kun! He's mentioned that he has no friends here.” Saihara wasn't sure why he was bothering to build a case for Kokichi when there was no way that Kaito would ever accept him. It didn't feel right to not try to explain WHY Ouma was the way he was though. He supposed it didn't hurt to defend him in some way, even if Momota would never really care to understand.

“I wonder why that is.” Momota said sarcastically, nearly rolling his eyes. “Did you already forget that he's responsible for Gonta's death?”

“That's...” it was obvious that he had nothing to say to refute that. Shuichi himself wasn't sure if he could ever justify what had happened at the class trial. As much as he was dying to bring it up with the smaller boy to get some clarity on the situation, he wasn't sure he could ever mention it to him. It was just such an emotionally charged subject and part of him wasn't even sure that Kokichi would give him a straight answer... And even if he did, he didn't know if he could handle hearing Ouma-kun try to justify why he used Gonta like that... He knew that Ouma didn't have many options considering Miu's plan for him, but at the same time, why couldn't Kokichi have told them he was in danger instead of manipulating a friend to kill on his behalf? He suddenly felt awful that he claimed to love Ouma, but still had moments where he doubted him. It was almost too complicated for him to continue to dwell on, making his head spin at all the possibilities.

Regardless of how he felt, Shuichi couldn't focus on Kaito's criticism of Ouma right now when he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts. He needed to apologize and make sure that Kokichi was okay. “I should go.” he added softly, glancing down at the ground awkwardly, wondering if Momota-kun would be angry at him for leaving so suddenly.

“Yeah, yeah. I got it.” Kaito nodded, brushing him off casually. 

“Training tonight for sure!” Saihara quickly promised as he rushed off to the dorms, hoping that everything would be alright in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a couple of days, I'll be posting the final chapter along with the epilogue and we'll be done! See you soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER, LET'S GOOOO

Shuichi hurried up the steps to Ouma's room, the metallic sound of his shoes tapping against the staircase reverberating through the empty hall of the dormitory building. Shuichi approached the other's door, pressing the intercom bell twice, waiting for the boy to answer. But he didn't open up. He tried knocking this time, hoping for a response. Saihara only hoped nothing bad had happened and that he was asleep or busy with something at the moment, but he knew that Ouma was most likely making him wait intentionally, probably some form of punishment, which he was honestly fine with considering just how guilty he felt for making him leave earlier. As long as he would open up eventually...

Kokichi sat up in his bed, fairly certain that the only person here that would be trying to see him would be Saihara. He was sure that Shuichi was worried about him and some part of him enjoyed knowing that he likely felt concerned about him not opening his door. At the same time, it's not like Kokichi didn't want to see him or anything. He could fix this entire situation with some sliiight manipulation anyways. And it's not like Shuichi would ever know, so it wouldn't be as if he was harming anyone from it. He'd have The Ultimate Detective apologizing to him in seconds.

Kokichi swiftly hopped up out of his bed, making the decision to utilize one of his many talents. He quickly worked up some fake tears and made his way to the door with a grin. Before opening the door, he took a deep breath, changing his expression to look as miserable as he could manage. He opened the door, making sure that he looked almost surprised to see Shuichi standing there in front of him.

“Saihara-chan...” he said, voice a hushed whisper. Kokichi carefully examined Shuichi's face to gauge his reaction to his appearance. He noted that Shuichi seemed slightly distressed by it all, which only meant that his tactic was working. Ouma sniffled softly, wiping away his crocodile tears. “You can come in.” he opened the door fully, inviting the other inside.

Shuichi stepped into the boy's room, looking around at all the clutter and bizarre souvenirs he'd clearly acquired from previous investigations. _Not to judge, but wow, the state of his room was... Something else._

“Ouma-kun, I'm so sorry.” he wasted no time apologizing. While Shuichi was well aware that Kokichi had faked tears in the past, he couldn't believe that the smaller boy would use a trick like that on him so he chose to believe that he had genuinely been crying over the way he'd treated him. If he was going to put his faith in the boy, he was going to fully trust him, even if a small part of him still doubted that he should. And besides, even if it was a lie, it didn't change the fact that he really did owe Kokichi a proper apology.

Ouma turned his back on him, walking farther into his room and almost couldn't contain the smirk threatening his lips at how well he had put on the act. Not that he was trying to deceive Saihara, but he knew that if he portrayed himself a particular way, it would expedite the entire process of 'making up' which was just so boring. He really just wanted Shuichi to see where he went wrong and move past this already.

“Yeah... So you came to apologize. Thanks, I guess.” Kokichi murmured, keeping his head down as he spoke.

Saihara closed the distance between them, physically turning the smaller boy's body to face him before pulling him into an embrace. “I shouldn't have said any of that to you.”

Kokichi was definitely caught off guard at just how proactive Saihara was behaving. He expected him to apologize, but didn't account for him to be quite this assertive about it. He continued his act, “It was really cruel, y'know...” Ouma whined, pulling away from the hug. “Do you even care about me anymore or are you bored with me now?” he obviously knew that Saihara cared about him, but he wanted to hear the other say it-- Regardless of him being slightly deceptive right now, part of him still needed to hear Shuichi say that he cared about him...

“Of course I care!” Shuichi insisted, taken aback that he could even ask him that question. This entire time, Saihara had been questioned by his friends repeatedly about just why he'd chosen to be with Ouma and he defended him every time despite the awful things the boy had done in the past. Even when Kokichi directly tried to hurt him yesterday at the dining hall, Shuichi chose to forgive him. He definitely cared about him, probably more than anyone else here.

“You didn't make me feel like you do.” Ouma replied quietly, and it was actually true, though probably not something he would have found himself being honest about normally.

“It's just that... I want you to get along with my friends.” he explained, placing his hands on the other's shoulders, holding onto him lightly.

“Momota-chan hates me though. You see how he talks to me. I even tried being nice this time! I really did, Shuichi! That's the truth.” he didn't even want to get into it about Harukawa... 

“I know.” he affirmed gently. At the same time, he still couldn't hold it against his friends to hate Ouma. Not that he needed to bring that entire mess up right now. It was difficult feeling so stuck in the middle of the conflict between Kokichi and the others. “I know you're doing your best now to get along with everyone despite the things that happened before.”

Kokichi smiled genuinely before thoughts of how much more everyone, including Saihara, would hate him not too long from now rushed into his mind. Not that he cared much for the others anyway, it was obviously Saihara that he was concerned with. He shook the thoughts away and focused on Shuichi instead.

“Mmhm.” Kokichi was thankful for the credit and he truly believed it was deserved. “I said I'd do anything for you.”

“I remember.” Saihara said, blushing softly. “Can I kiss you now?”

Kokichi nodded before tiptoeing up to meet Shuichi's lips as the other leaned down towards him, the detective placing his hands on Ouma's hips as the smaller boy immediately wrapped his arms around Saihara's waist as they shared a kiss.

Kokichi was the first to break the kiss. “I don't wanna fight with you anymore. It's not fun.” he frowned.

“I don't like it either.” Shuichi added in agreement.

“Okay~ Then no more fighting.” Ouma smiled with a nod.

Shuichi returned the smile before replying, “You skipped breakfast. Aren't you hungry?”

“Yeah, I'm kinda starving right now.” he sighed with a pout.

“If you wanted to go-” 

“Ahh, yeah.” Kokichi immediately cut him off. “I should probably go alone. You know, the plan and all.”

“O-oh, right.” Shuichi said, slightly flustered. They had only just agreed to keep things discreet between them, after all. It only made sense that Ouma-kun would do things independently... Without him. They stood in awkward silence in Kokichi's room for a moment before walking out together. 

“Well, see you around, Shuichi~” Ouma flashed him a smile as he turned and walked off down the steps by his door, heading out of the dormitory and to the dining hall.

Shuichi stood alone in front of Kokichi's room. He was unsure of what to do now. He could go hang out with someone else, but... He didn't want to. All Saihara could think about was how unlucky they were to have met here like this, under these circumstances. The detective sighed, walking down the steps and to his own room instead. Unlocking his door, he entered his room, taking off his shoes first before climbing onto his bed. Shuichi lied back, staring at the ceiling. Everything felt nearly too good to be true now, though he couldn't shake the underlying feeling as if something catastrophic was due to happen.

He ignored the thought. Of course he felt that way, being forced to participate in a killing game. That reminded him-- At the end of the last class trial, Ouma-kun had said he planned to win the game at any cost. He felt unsettled the more he thought about what he meant by that. Shuichi wondered if it would be worth asking Kokichi about it, but he didn't even know how he'd go about bringing it up with the other... Maybe it would be best to forget about it. Saihara only hoped that he was just talking his typical Kokichi nonsense, but it didn't help that this whole time, Ouma-kun had made several disturbing comments about the killing game in general.

Feeling conflicted and unwilling to confront these difficult thoughts, he closed his eyes, eventually drifting off to sleep.

\---

Shuichi jolted awake, immediately looking around his room, disappointed to find that he was alone. It's not like he expected Kokichi to have picked the lock and join him in his room, but at the same time, it would have been a nice surprise. He was caught off guard with himself for actually hoping for that scenario. Saihara wondered about the other, if he'd gone back to his room after visiting the dining hall and what he was up to. _It couldn't hurt to go see him, could it?_

He got up from his bed and headed to the door, quickly putting on his shoes before walking out of his room and up the stairway to Kokichi's. He rang the intercom and waited only a moment before the door opened. 

Ouma was surprised to see that Saihara was there. It wasn't as if he didn't want to invite him in, but he decided to wait to see if it was something urgent first. They were supposed to be limiting their contact with one another, after all. He said nothing, staring at the detective expectantly.

Shuichi stood restlessly at the door, slightly confused as to why Kokichi hadn't offered him to come inside yet. “Could I... Come in?” he asked finally. No one was around, so he couldn't see how it would be an issue.

Ouma sighed, opening the door widely now, allowing him entry to his room. The other stepped inside, almost hesitantly, before he took his shoes off by the door. 

“Is this where I remind you that this whole 'separation' thing was your idea?” though Kokichi knew it wouldn't matter for much longer anyway. He may as well enjoy some of the last good moments he'd have with Shuichi before things blew up. At the same time, he couldn't entirely blame himself for trying to distance himself from the boy either.

“So, what's wrong?” Kokichi asked casually, waiting for Saihara to give him some explanation as to why he was there-- Not that he minded that he was visiting him or anything, it just wasn't what they'd talked about and it was beginning to feel difficult for him to be around Shuichi knowing that they were quickly running out of time together.

“Nothing, I just... I missed you.” Shuichi confessed, averting his gaze shyly.

Ouma giggled, beyond amused that the taller boy was actually okay with admitting something like that. He couldn't pass up an opportunity to tease Saihara. “Look at you~ Can't even stay away from me for ten minutes.”

“It felt more like hours, actually...” Saihara argued, feeling embarrassed now that it probably hadn't been that long at all. Maybe he was growing a little dependent on Ouma-kun.

“It's fine. I was getting pretty bored too.” he admitted. “What's up?”

“I wanted to see you, that's all.”

Ouma was smiling, but Shuichi couldn't help but to pick up on what seemed like sadness in his eyes. He didn't look happy to see him at all. 

“Is something wrong?” Saihara asked, feeling slightly concerned with Ouma's reaction to him being there. He was second guessing coming to his room now.

As much as Kokichi wanted-- Actually, it didn't even matter what he personally wanted at this point-- There was really no future with Saihara. All he had now was today before things would go wrong. His plan was necessary to stop the killing game. He knew it would turn everyone against him, but if it meant that it would end this terrible game, then he'd do anything to achieve that. At the same time, he'd be lying to himself if he wouldn't somewhat enjoy going out on a huge lie like that. _But would it be so bad to tell Shuichi his plan?_ No, there was no way he'd ever be on board with it and even if he was, he would never be able to keep it a secret from his friends. He was far too dependable and trustworthy to ever be deceptive like Kokichi was.

“Kokichi?” Shuichi asked, concern apparent in his voice.

“Oh, it's nothing. Haha, you worry too much! Typical Shuichi!” Ouma said quickly in an attempt to cover up his own unease.

“Hmm.” Shuichi hummed thoughtfully. “Are you sure everything's okay?” something definitely felt off to him, but it didn't take a detective to pick up on that.

Everything was far from okay. It was terrible, actually. Kokichi felt his stomach churning, growing uncomfortably morose being faced with reality-- The reality that he'd imposed on not only himself, but Saihara as well. He quietly took a step towards Shuichi, closing the distance between them before he wrapped his arms around the boy, resting his forehead against Saihara's chest.

“Kokichi...” Shuichi's voice was low and soft. He was beginning to get worried now, at a loss of what he had done wrong to make Kokichi feel this way, but something was clearly wrong and Shuichi could only place the blame on himself.

“It's fine.” the smaller boy finally answered, keeping his face hidden against the detective.

“It doesn't feel fine.” his voice was a whisper, almost trembling, and Saihara could feel the beginning of his emotions getting the better of him seeing the other acting so solemn. It was the exact opposite of how he had gotten used to seeing the boy, who seemed to have lost the spark that made him Kokichi.

 _Was it a mistake initiating a closer relationship with Shuichi?_ Ouma's chest felt tight. Things clearly would be so much more difficult now, for the both of them, but for Saihara particularly. He didn't regret the last couple of days by any means, but he couldn't stop thinking about how he would be leaving things. He tried to not let these thoughts ruin their time together. 

Kokichi looked up at Shuichi, gazing into the boy's troubled eyes. “Sorry to worry you, beloved.” he smiled softly.

Shuichi was caught off guard by the sudden apology and sweetness of Ouma-kun's tone, though now he was more convinced than ever that something was off. He combed his fingers through Ouma's soft hair in an attempt to alleviate his apparent woes, enjoying the moment of peace-- A rare occurrence in this place.

Kokichi leaned up, kissing him lovingly on the lips, the other not hesitating to reciprocate. He just wanted to be close to Shuichi and forget about everything else that was looming over him. Ouma gently and carefully guided him towards his bed, pushing the miscellaneous junk cluttering his mattress onto the floor before pulling Shuichi on top of him as he fell back onto the bed. Saihara rest his weight on his forearms on top of the comforter, Ouma positioned between his arms as the smaller boy immediately wrapped his arms around the other's neck, kissing him again deeply, closing his eyes and trying to forget about everything except for Shuichi and this moment.

They continued exchanging kisses, getting lost in the moment with one another until Kokichi was finding it hard to take. He needed more than this, determined to do anything to make himself forget and just be close with Shuichi. Ouma frantically unbuttoned Saihara's pants, unzipping his fly.

“Nnn, Kokichi...” he moaned into his mouth through kisses.

Ouma smiled coyly, pulling away from him. “What do you want me to do, Shuichi?”

“Just touch me.” Shuichi said pleadingly, feeling his own urges beginning to make him feel desperate for some kind of contact from the other.

“Is that all?” the leader asked deviously, hovering his hand over Saihara's groin, waiting to take further action.

“I think you know what else.” Shuichi answered, blushing as he waited for Kokichi to make his next move.

As much as he wanted to fuck Shuichi right here, Ouma was worried about hurting him considering that he bled the first time they had sex. He wasn't sure if Saihara was ready yet, as disappointing as it was that this would be the last time they'd have together like this. But he didn't want a thought like that to ruin the moment, instead choosing to continue.

“Ahh, well... I think you still need more time to heal, y'know?” he said, taking note of the mild look of dissatisfaction on the other's face. “But I'll still make you feel really good, Shuichi~” he added, pressing his lips against the other's in another kiss.

Ouma slid a hand inside the waistband of Saihara's boxers, fixing his gaze on the other as he finally touched his erection, gently gripping his shaft and wasting no time freeing the boy's cock from his underwear. Shuichi sucked in a shallow breath at his touch, unsure if he would ever get used to the initial feeling of Kokichi's hands on his body like this. He was looking forward to whatever it was the purple haired boy had planned for him. Ouma pumped him slowly in his hand as he continued kissing him deeply as he worked his length up and down skillfully. 

As much as Shuichi loved being touched like this, he couldn't help but to notice just how affectionate the smaller boy was being with all of his kissing. He definitely wasn't complaining, as he'd grown to really enjoy the sentiment, but he did notice that he seemed to be doing it more now than ever before and only wondered if there was some reason for the sudden change. But it was undeniably nice to feel so loved and desired by the boy.

Kokichi wanted to tell Shuichi that he loved him, and although he had already said it, he couldn't get the words to come out. He instead opted for silence, knowing that he'd probably regret keeping quiet later. It was nice to have Saihara's delicate kisses to distract him from the thought as he jerked the boy off. And as nice as it was, he wanted to take things a bit further than just this. Ouma gently guided Shuichi off of him, laying him onto the mattress on his back.

“Get comfortable~” he said, flashing a playful smile before beginning to remove the boy's clothes. He worked open his jacket, then started unfastening the many buttons on his shirt. “I wanna see all of you.” and he really did want to remember him like this-- Just a moment between the two of them without any problems or drama.

Shuichi slipped out of his jacket and shirt as Ouma pulled off Saihara's pants and underwear leaving him fully exposed to him. The smaller boy stood up from the bed and took off his own scarf and jacket, stopping before he unclasped his belt. Without a word, he walked over to his dresser, opening a drawer and rummaging through it haphazardly, finally finding what he was looking for. He returned to the bed with the small bottle of lube from before. Finally now, he unfastened his belt, removing his pants entirely. Last came his underwear, revealing his own hard-on for Shuichi to admire.

“I don't mind if you wanna top again.” Kokichi offered, knowing that there was no way that Saihara would refuse.

“I don't mind either.”

“Seems we've reached an agreement, Mister Detective.” Ouma said teasingly. He climbed onto the bed, uncapping the bottle, ready to squirt the gel onto his hand.

“Wait.” Shuichi stopped him abruptly. “I want to do it... If that's alright with you.”

“Oh?” Kokichi asked, interest piqued. “Okaaay~ If you wanna.” he smiled at the taller boy's willingness to learn and try new things. Shuichi sat up as Ouma handed him the bottle. “How do you want me?” he asked, waiting for some direction from the other.

“Err-” Saihara hesitated, unsure of the best position to go about doing this. “Here.” he said, pulling Ouma gently into his lap, bending the boy over his legs.

“Ooh, I feel so vulnerable~” Kokichi joked, though in actuality, he had no issue with the position he was in, feeling perfectly comfortable being around the other like this.

Shuichi giggled at the remark, squirting the lube on his fingers before slowly rubbing Ouma's entrance as he carefully slipped a single digit inside the boy. Kokichi took it well, sighing softly as Saihara entered him, prodding him gently and working him open.

“Does it feel okay?” Shuichi asked apprehensively, wanting to ensure that he was doing everything the right way.

“Mmhm, you can keep going.” Ouma replied, resting his head on the mattress, enjoying the feeling of Saihara's fingers at work. 

The detective took that as his cue to add another finger, and he did gingerly, somehow afraid he was going to hurt the other. He did his best to try to find Ouma's prostate, delicately pressing into the boy. He couldn't recall exactly what motions Kokichi had done to him when he touched him like this, but he was working so hard to make him feel good. The room was silent with the exception of a few soft huffs and sighs from Ouma as Shuichi fingered him.

“I'm sorry, I'm not very good at this.” Shuichi apologized.

“You're doing great.” Ouma said, trying to reassure the other. He was well aware that Saihara had issues with the level of confidence that he had in himself. He genuinely thought that he had no reason to be so apologetic towards him, especially considering their relationship. Besides, it wasn't like Saihara was doing anything wrong. He was making him feel really good, as Kokichi already felt himself getting hard from the other's touch.

Shuichi hoped that Ouma was being sincere with him when he said that, but he found it somewhat difficult to believe as this was his first time doing this, questioning if Kokichi was just trying to spare his feelings. He continued to play with him when it finally happened.

Kokichi gasped loudly, seeing stars as Shuichi brushed against his prostate. He repeated the motion, fingers deep in Kokichi's ass, strumming against it again. The smaller boy choked out a cry at the sensation, his erection now straining against him.

Shuichi's own cock throbbed, not only hearing the noises he was drawing from the boy, but the fact that he was inside him. All he could think about was how desperately he wanted to fuck him right now and make the leader cum.

“Do you need more?” Shuichi asked, feeling himself growing more and more eager to have the other.

“Just fuck me.” he begged, voice shaky, as Saihara once again brushed against that spot inside him teasingly, sending another full body shock wave through him.

Shuichi had no issue with that. He guided Ouma onto his side, taking the boy's leg and resting it over his shoulder, positioning himself closely against him. He admired how flexible Kokichi was as he gripped his thigh for support before applying a decent amount of lubrication to his cock, jerking himself quickly to evenly spread it along his length as he lined up with his entrance. Shuichi slowly pushed his hips forward, entering the smaller boy, staying still to give him time to adjust to his size. It was so tight, he could get lost in the feeling as the other's body stretched to accommodate him. 

Saihara gazed over Kokichi's body, stopping at his expression, which seemed way too serious to belong to him. His violet eyes were almost pleading with him for something, watching him intently and waiting for him to continue. Shuichi slowly fucked him, rocking his hips forward, fully sheathing himself inside the boy, the position he had him in giving him full access to his body.

“I can take it harder, Shuichi.” Ouma softly reminded him, but everything about Saihara was gentle and unassuming. Kokichi only wondered what happened last time when the detective had managed to be rougher with him and what he had to do to bring out that side of him again. 

Shuichi only went slightly faster now, as he observed the other's smaller frame take him, feeling hesitant to go any harder in fear of somehow hurting his lover.

“You're not gonna break me.” Ouma huffed, absolutely picking up on Shuichi's reluctance to be even somewhat rough (not that Kokichi would have considered this rough, necessarily) with him.

“Aah, o-okay.” Saihara replied, ready to give into Ouma's needs. He gripped the boy's leg tighter, placing his other hand in Kokichi's, weaving their fingers together as he picked up his pace, pounding into him. He noticed that Kokichi seemed to like this a lot more, which was reassuring and he listened to the sound of his moans, giving him little reprieve from the feeling of pleasure coursing through him as he fucked him. Saihara wondered if anyone could hear them, though at the same time, he was finding it hard to care as he watched the smaller boy unravel into a mess underneath him.

Saihara couldn't deny that there was something he found to be surprisingly satisfying about a faster pace. He'd always thought it was nice to take things slowly, but just watching Kokichi take it harder made it worth it. The other seemed to be lost in the feeling, overwhelmed by pleasure as he lied underneath the detective, lips parted and eyes closed, drawing out satisfied moans and cries with nearly every thrust into him.

Ouma almost couldn't take it anymore, the stimulation becoming too much for him. He watched Shuichi's face in a haze, the other's exceptionally thick and beautiful lashes guarding his eyes as he rocked into him, clutching his thigh as if for some kind of support or just to hold him steady on the bed. Every little huff from his lips as he drove into him... Just watching his hips move in and out between his legs and all of Shuichi working to get him off. It was too much.

Kokichi grabbed his own cock, roughly jerking himself off, feeling himself reaching a peak that he would inevitably tumble over.

“Shuichi...” he called out his name before he even realized that he was speaking. Hearing how pathetically soft he sounded made it seem like the voice came from someone else entirely.

“Nn, what's wrong?” he panted with concern.

“Make me cum~” Kokichi begged, rolling onto his back, in which Saihara grabbed his other leg, placing it over his shoulder before continuing to fuck him.

“Mmhm,“ Shuichi crooned, driving into him roughly once again. “are you close?”

“Yeah.” Ouma moaned through a breathy sigh. 

“Me too.”

Hearing those words pushed him closer now as he pumped his length desperately while Shuichi fucked him, teasing his prostate on nearly every thrust into his heat. He couldn't take it anymore, everything inside of him spiraling out of control and out of his reach as he felt himself come undone. Kokichi succumbed to his desperation, cumming hard on his own chest, eyes squeezed shut as he slowly came down from his high.

Saihara watched Kokichi's release-- Something so indecent about it, but captivating at the same time, being just what he needed to see to edge himself along. He could feel the buildup inside him now as every part of him tightened up as he reached that familiar tipping point. As much as he wanted to cum inside the boy, he knew Kokichi's preference was for him to pull out. Of course he did just that, frantically jerking himself as he gave into his own release, cumming on Kokichi's chest, adding to the mess of white that was spattered along his pale skin.

“You remembered.” Ouma said through a sigh.

“Mmh, I did.” Saihara affirmed, catching his breath as he slowly began to collect himself post orgasm. Looking down at Kokichi, he admired the view of him painted in cum lying beneath him, though some part of him felt guilty for making such a mess directly on the boy.

Ouma tiredly scooted over, leaving room for the other who joined him on the mattress in the space next to him. Kokichi would have gladly preferred things stay like this (except maybe not the part where he was covered in cum) than having to watch things unfold and Saihara instantly despise him again. It was inevitable at this point. It was extremely rare that he ever second guessed himself, but this was one of those times. _Would he have gone through with his plan if he would have known things would end up like this with Shuichi?_ No, he had to if he wanted to end the killing game. It was far too late to doubt himself at this point, so he shook the thought away, convinced that it was all for the best.

“Be back in a second~” Kokichi sang cheerfully, in an attempt to hide his afflictions. He got up and headed to the bathroom to clean himself up.

Shuichi couldn't help but to notice just how messy and disorganized Ouma's room was with his strange collection of junk and seemingly endless boxes piled up along the wall. He'd have to ask later if he needed help cleaning up. While he waited for the purple haired boy to return, he stood up, put on his boxers and climbed back into bed to wait for him. It was only a few short moments until Kokichi returned, slipping back into his underwear and hopping into bed with Saihara.

There was a lot that Ouma wanted to say to Saihara, but knew that he just couldn't bring up. He'd already told him before he wasn't going to hurt him again, but there was no way that Shuichi wouldn't be wounded by his plan. He knew he wasn't ever going to get the opportunity to make things right with him either after the fact. _Could he really say that he cared about him if he was willing to go through with this?_ Even worse, the fact that this was the last time they'd spend together content like this weighed heavily on him. It hurt knowing that Saihara was probably going to regret all of their time together in the end while Kokichi took on the role of the unfeeling, villainous mastermind.

“Was it okay?” Shuichi asked hesitantly, pulling Kokichi out of his own thoughts.

“Of course it was.” he answered, “You're real impressive, y'know.”

Shuichi smiled, sure that he'd never get tired of hearing Ouma's compliments, especially with how genuine and sincere they seemed. It was definitely helping to change his prior image of the boy. “I want to get out of here so badly.” he said suddenly, the words seemingly coming out of nowhere, as if they were completely out of context.

Kokichi's heart sunk. _Even if they could leave this place..._ He nodded solemnly. “I'm gonna protect you, Shuichi. No matter what.”

It wasn't exactly an _odd_ thing to say, but Saihara was slightly confused as to where he was coming from. The sudden determination in his tone seemed so out of nowhere. “Thank you.” he simply said in return.

 _No matter what_. Even if it meant driving him away in the end, it was for the best if it meant that the game would end and Shuichi would survive. Even if he had to be the villain in the story, it was the only way. Kokichi found himself wishing that he had even just a little more time with Shuichi, but the truth was that their time together was nearly up. 

Ouma glanced over at Shuichi, who was lying back, looking his way. Shuichi smiled kindly at him, gently placing a hand on his. He really had no idea what was coming. Kokichi tried to memorize his face, looking peaceful and relaxed. Free from anxiety or anger. That was the Saihara he wanted to remember. Starting tonight, Kokichi decided the best thing he could do for Shuichi would be to make himself disappear from campus again and go into hiding. It would be much easier to carry out his plan if he put a little distance between them, for now anyway...

“Can we spend the night together?” Saihara asked suddenly, breaking the silence in the room.

Kokichi wasn't sure how he would explain to the other that he needed to be alone, but it would be better to do it sooner than later. “Oh... It's not that I don't want to...” he trailed off, trying to find the right words to say to let the boy down easy.

Shuichi felt as if Kokichi was pulling away from him and only hoped he was somehow misreading the situation. Maybe it was unreasonable of him to suggest it considering they'd both agreed to limit their contact, but still. He felt stupid for even bringing it up at all, instantly regretting opening his mouth in the first place.

“Y-you're right. I don't know what I'm thinking.” Shuichi said calmly, voice soft. He withdrew his hand from Kokichi's now, resting it by his side instead.

For the first time, Ouma honestly wasn't sure what he should say to the other. He didn't want to reject him when Shuichi tried making plans to be around him, but he didn't have many options at this point. It left him feeling terrible, all the same. Kokichi sighed softly, leaning against Shuichi for some kind of last minute comfort before their world inevitably crumbled around them.

“Tomorrow's another day.” Saihara added optimistically.

It pained Ouma to hear him say it, finding himself unable to look at the other now, fixating on his ceiling instead, looking for literally anything else that could serve as a distraction from Saihara's words.

Tomorrow _was_ another day, unfortunately.

“Hey, Shuichi.” Kokichi finally spoke, an idea suddenly coming to him. Probably the only thing he could manage to do to make himself feel better about so abruptly abandoning Saihara and carrying on with his plan.

“Hm?” Shuichi's attention was on the smaller boy immediately, curious as to what he'd have to say.

“Y'know what might be kiiinda fun?” Ouma suggested cheerfully, nudging the detective playfully.

“Umm, what did you have in mind?” he asked cautiously. If Kokichi thought it was fun, it could go two ways. Either something legitimately fun, or something completely insane.

“Let's make a promise, right now.”

“A... Promise?” Saihara was relieved it was something so simple, and his interest was piqued now, wondering what kind of plan Ouma could possibly be scheming... Shuichi shifted on the mattress next to the boy, waiting for him to give him the details.

“Yeah, yeah! It'll be a thing between us!” he said excitedly, more than confident that Saihara would be on board with his idea. 

“Okay.” Shuichi agreed, feeling much more hopeful than before, the idea of them having something special like that between him making him feel genuinely happy.

“I was thinking we should promise that no matter what, we'll remember this exact moment right now.”

“Oh, uh. Why this moment though?” he was actually at a bit of a loss. It wasn't as if anything particularly remarkable had happened just now. Shuichi paused, trying to think if he was missing something significant.

“Don't you think it's kinda important?!” Ouma was only slightly flustered, frustrated that this whole promise thing was clearly going over Saihara's head. But it was okay. Even though Saihara was The Ultimate Detective, he couldn't expect him to be a mind reader or anything.

“Um, honestly, I think I'm missing your point here, Kokichi...” Shuichi trailed off, feeling confused as to where Ouma was going with this. 

“Ughhh,” Kokichi groaned, playing up the level of annoyance he felt. “I thought _you'd_ get it, but I guess I have to explain it to you in the end anyway!” he quickly sat up in bed, straddling the taller boy on the bed before leaning in and kissing him on the lips. Saihara's eyes widened at the abruptness of it all as it registered with him that the leader was on top of him, though suddenly, he felt himself melting into the kiss, unable to resist returning it. Before he knew it, his hands had found their way to Ouma's hips, gently holding the smaller boy in place, not wanting it to end.

After a moment, Ouma broke away, holding the other's face in his hands gently. “I love you, Shuichi.” 

“I...” Shuichi was completely caught off guard by Kokichi's words. “I love you too.” he said naturally, as if it were an inherent response that he had no control over, regardless of how true it really was.

“Then don't _ever_ forget this moment. Promise me.” he insisted, looking deep into Shuichi's eyes as he spoke.

“I promise... I won't forget.” he answered sincerely, committing it to memory forever, because if it was _this_ important to Ouma, then it meant everything to him now.

Kokichi grinned, quickly pecking Shuichi on the lips before lying back down next to him. “Perfect! I won't forget either.”

Ouma knew that this wouldn't spare Shuichi's feelings in the end, but at least now it would give Saihara something to think about when Ouma planned to reveal that he's the mastermind. And while he knew that it wouldn't be enough for Saihara to believe otherwise with all the proof he had managed to fabricate to support his lie, in the very least, maybe Shuichi would accept that no matter what he claimed to be, Kokichi really did have true feelings for him. He couldn't protect Saihara from his imminent betrayal, though maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to give Shuichi hope that everything really did mean something in the end. Kokichi could only believe that this would work in his favor, even though in reality, it was all for Shuichi.


	7. Epilogue

I.  
It had been a full day now since Shuichi had seen Kokichi. It was almost as if he'd just vanished, being impossible to find anywhere on campus or even in his dorm room. Saihara seemed to be the only one of the remaining survivors concerned by Ouma's absence, which was understandable, but it left him feeling completely isolated from the others in some way. He found his emotions bouncing between unbridled anxiety and anger-- In the end, always finding himself wondering why Kokichi was putting him through this at all and taking the boy's actions personally.

 _Why had Kokichi even bothered getting close to him to just abandon him in the end?_ He tried reasoning with himself, telling himself that it didn't matter because tonight was the night they were getting out of this hellhole, with or without Ouma, as much as the thought pained him. Saihara would steel his nerves and meet with the others in the gym to initiate their attack on Monokuma. 

\---

Hearing Ouma's voice alone made something deep inside of him flutter with something akin to excitement and as he quickly turned to see his face, all he could do was hold back the flood of emotions he felt racing through him. His heart sunk hearing the leader's proposal, threatening to indiscriminately kill them all with the exception of one. Just the idea of it left Shuichi feeling nothing but disgust towards the smaller boy and he knew there was no way any of them would ever volunteer to survive alone with Ouma at this point, himself included. Even if it was some kind of sick joke, he couldn't believe what he was hearing as Kokichi spun his lies, claiming it all was some sort of 'test' that was on their behalf. After the last couple of days they'd spent alone together, he'd honestly believed that Ouma had changed for the better, but this was so out of nowhere, his head was spinning and the questions he had for the leader had only begun to pile up one after another.

The smaller boy was acting so unhinged, Shuichi found himself wondering how he'd ever grown close to him in the first place if this was his true nature. The fact that Kokichi hardly acknowledged him at all made his heart sink into despair. He claimed he wanted to help, but he obviously had no real desire to assist the group. _Did he feel any need to be near Shuichi? Or was everything a lie thus far?_ Shuichi didn't know what to believe anymore and it tormented him deeply. _How could he have been so stupid?_ Either way, all they could do now was to use the tools that Kokichi offered to try to escape, even if he had no intention of helping them aside from that. It wasn't long before the boy had left the group alone in the gym to discuss their plan. Shuichi felt nothing but conflicted, unable to determine if he was glad to see him go or if he even wanted to see him again or not. He couldn't stop running through all the questions he had for Ouma, though at the same time, he wasn't even sure he _wanted_ the answers to those questions.

II.  
Despair. He could barely focus on the words that Ouma was speaking after “mastermind”. _It wasn't true, was it?_ But it had to be-- He proved it by controlling the Exisals and establishing that he knew about the state of the world outside the door. He was the entire reason they were trapped here in this killing game. _How could it be a lie?_ It didn't make sense anymore. Nothing made sense and he only had thoughts of just how pointless everything was at the forefront of his mind, along with feeling like he wanted to die. All of it was Kokichi's plan this entire time and Shuichi was sure now that he had zero apprehension despising him for it. It was truly unforgivable in every sense of the word.

Shuichi felt used, appalled with himself that he put his trust into someone who had done nothing this entire time but prove to him that he _shouldn't_ be trusted. But he gave him his trust anyway, despite the protests of his friends, the people that he should have put his faith in all along. He wanted to confront Kokichi and ask him why he did what he did, but he couldn't even find the strength to speak the words. Even if he could, he couldn't handle the thought of Ouma's undoubtedly cruel response to him when it was obvious that he should never have given him a chance in the first place. Saihara didn't want to be reminded about it and have to face the decision he'd made to believe in Kokichi. It didn't even matter anymore-- Nothing did. He despaired.

III.  
Ouma aligned himself onto the hydraulic press' bottom plate, positioning his body to match how Momota had been lying moments before him. He'd never felt more sick in his life, the reality of having to face his death hitting him hard. The fact that this was the end and nothing could change that now. Kokichi was afraid, honestly. It wasn't like he wanted to die, it just turned out this way and he knew it was for everyone's benefit, and in some way, his own benefit as well if it meant that he would end the game.

He couldn't stop thinking about how he was never going to see Shuichi again. Ouma choked back a sob quietly, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to clear his mind of the thought. He'd told himself before he was only going to think about the good memories he had with Shuichi.

“Ouma! You ready?” Kaito asked, feeling as if the least he could do was ensure the smaller boy was actually ready to die by his hands. He felt a staggering amount of guilt on his shoulders that he would be the one expediting his death, though this is what Ouma wanted after all... His hands were shaking slightly and he was glad that Kokichi couldn't see him from the boy's position in the press. He didn't want to be the one to have to do this, but at this point, Ouma had him convinced that it was the only way.

Kokichi almost missed the question entirely, wrapped up in his own thoughts. “I-I'm ready!” he confirmed, despite feeling everything except for prepared to go through with this.

Some small part of him hoped the poison coursing through him would take him out first, even if that would completely ruin his plan. Considering how poorly he was handling the poison affecting him, maybe it would be a worse death than being promptly crushed by a hydraulic press, it's just that the idea of the press seemed far more intimidating. He only hoped it would be over quickly and that Momota would take care of the rest of the plan when he was... Gone. The thought of Shuichi's face when he'd finally find out that it was _his_ blood spread across the floor gave him some sort of warped hope-- Like it would be a parting gift he could give the detective as if to say that everything was right in the end and Kokichi really did end up protecting him. He hoped Saihara would feel something for him in his death, if that were even possible after the damage he'd done to the boy.

Suddenly, the press began to lower with a mechanical whir and Ouma nearly felt his heart stop. This was really it now. He was terrified. All he could think about was Shuichi, how he deserved better than what he'd put the other through and how he wished things could have somehow been different. Kokichi watched as the press lowered, closing in on him.

He closed his eyes as the metal plate loomed over him, thoughts frantic as the cool material was nearly in contact with his skin. Kokichi thought about the other day with Saihara in his room. How he told him to remember that moment always-- What Shuichi had said to him... _I promise, I won't fo--_

The press closed entirely, an excessive amount of blood immediately gushing and spraying from the closed machine, spilling onto the concrete floor.

Kaito felt sick to his stomach, feeling beads of sweat forming on his skin as he instinctively put a hand to his mouth as if to hold in the vomit he was desperately trying to suppress after witnessing something so violently obscene. Kokichi was... Problematic to say the least, but did he deserve to be remembered like _this_? Momota focused on the press, watching a stream of blood trickle onto the floor as his jacket sleeve hanging limply between the press' plates began slowly absorbing some of the vibrant fluid.

IV.  
Shuichi stood in the doorway of the hangar in shock at the alarming sight before him. The only two people that were in the hangar at the time... The only two people that could be _that horrific mess_... He didn't want it to be Momota-kun. But at the same time, it's not like he wanted it to be Ouma-kun either. Shuichi felt so betrayed by Kokichi, as the mastermind, everything he'd done was unforgivable. He didn't know if he wanted him dead though, feeling conflicted about the entire predicament he was in. He stared at the sleeve of Kaito's jacket caught between the press, knowing he'd find the truth in the end.

Between Kaito and Kokichi... He hoped that Kaito was alive.

V.  
Ouma-kun... He wasn't the mastermind. It was a lie in the end, a lie that he'd fabricated to try to end the killing game. _But why would he lie to Shuichi after what they'd been through together?_ He recalled Kokichi telling him that he loved him. Kokichi's smile when he'd see him, lying together in bed cuddling... And of course the moments of intimacy they'd shared that he couldn't forget. There had to have been some reason he didn't open up with him and tell him the truth. Saihara knew that Ouma must have really had faith in his plan, believing that it would prove to be successful and ending the killing game. Did he do that for all of them, or was it for his own selfish reasons?

 _How could he be so reckless to sacrifice himself for such an idea?_ Shuichi only wondered when Kokichi had known he was going to do this and why the boy had ever gotten involved with him in the first place if this would be the end result. Saihara was angry, confused, and bitter. Kokichi promised he wouldn't hurt him again, but this was beyond words. Not only was he dead, but the terms that he'd left on were horrible to have to face. He choked back tears, feeling completely frustrated by the circumstances. _What was he supposed to do now? And what was he supposed to feel?_

Saihara struggled to come to terms with the boy's death and the truth of what was a lie and what wasn't-- Whether or not Kokichi genuinely felt anything for him or if it was all just an act. As betrayed as he felt, he just couldn't find it in him to hate Ouma for everything he'd done. Somehow, he knew that in Kokichi's mind, it was justified with good reason. And the Kokichi that _he_ had grown to know wouldn't have put him through any of this if he thought there was another way. 

Shuichi recalled the times they'd spent together when Ouma seemed _off_ and not quite like himself. Maybe that was his indication that he'd had something planned this entire time, though of course in the moment, Shuichi would have had no way of knowing. And the last time they'd spent together, Kokichi was definitely more somber than usual, putting distance between the two of them... It was as if he knew and was struggling himself to come to terms with his own plan. 

_Did Ouma-kun have real feelings for him?_ He remembered the promise Ouma insisted they make, about never forgetting _that exact moment_ and how adamant he seemed about Shuichi remembering it. How Ouma told him he loved him and how Shuichi had said he loved him too... _Was that real or simply part of his plan?_ There was no way of ever knowing the truth now because Ouma was gone forever-- He would never get a chance to know the truth of how he felt. After everything, Saihara didn't want to accept that his feelings were a lie and he could only choose to believe in Kokichi when the boy said he loved him. That was his truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support in reading this!


End file.
